I forgot to mention it in Saturday’s news post, but Rudi Gunther of Dead//Life has started a new story arc which features a crossover of sorts with HEAT! I say “of sorts” because none of the main cast of HEAT actually appear, and I didn’t actually do anything other than provide him with some design drawings of Wrestletron 5000 (he’ll be appearing in HEAT at some point in the future, but I don’t have anything written for him yet).
Anyway, the story features Beerman forcing Dr. Von Rudenstein to accompany him to a HEAT wrestling match between Wrestletron 5000 and Black Decker (who Rudi came up). You can read it from the beginning right here!
PWA Summer Heat
Saturday, July 30th, 2011
Century Casino Showroom, Edmonton, Alberta
PWA's new-look ring. The ropes and apron are red now.
The PWA is back in the Century Casino after last month’s detour into the NAIT Gymnasium (which I was, sadly, unable toattend). The incredibly comfortable office chairs have been replaced with ballroom chairs, which are both kind ofuncomfortable and far more numerous, which only made the place look more empty, especially since the attendance seemed visibly lower than usual. There was also only one referee present, so the beleaguered Ritchie Howard worked double the number of matches he usually does, which also meant he took double the abuse from the crowd that he normally does.
William Saint vs. Nightmare #2
Saint’s theme music (“Last Resort” by Papa Roach) makes no sense for a face. I don’t really have a greater point to build to with that, as it effects nothing in the match, I’m just sayin’. Things started off with a handshake between the two babyfaces, then a series of headlocks and reversals into other headlocks. A certain portion of the audience went nuts over this and started chanting “we want headlocks” whenever any other move was used. Most of the match was solid technical wrestling with a good pace to it. It’s also the first time I’ve gotten to see Saint actually do moves, since his last match was a six minute squash against Dylan Knight. Turns out he’s basically Dynamite Kid with a few tweaks, in terms of his moveset. One of those tweaks involved killing Nightmare with Angel’s Wings (which I have video of on my YouTube channel). Nightmare managed to kick out, which frustrated Saint, who followed up by whipping Nightmare into the corner. He followed up with a shoulder charge, but Nightmare used the top rope to hop up over Saint and take him over with a sunset flip for the pinfall. A visibly frustrated Saint rolled out of the ring, then regained his composure and encouraged the fans to applaud Nightmare’s victory.
Bobby Sharp vs. Cam!!ikaze
Bobby Sharp comes out and cuts a promo, which I don’t think I’ve heard him do before. It was okay-ish. His delivery wasn’t bad, but all he really had to say was that he wasn’t teaming with Scotley Crue anymore and that wrestling singles matches was all he needed to succeed. Which was a weird phrasing. He was announced as “The Atomic One” (what?) and ended his promo with “and that’s atomic!” Double what? Then Cam!!ikaze (who does, in fact, have two exclamation points in his name) came out and Bobby Sharp eventually got into the ring to fight him.
Cam!!ikaze is upside down. I can't remember why. It's probably not going to go well for him.
This match was the classic style clash between the faster, more athletic Cam!!ikaze and the larger, more powerful Sharp. Things started off with chain wrestling which led to Cam going for a lucha libre transition from an arm-wringer to an arm drag (the Essa Rios move where he jumped onto the top rope, dropped down to his butt and flipped backward into the arm drag), but Sharp just kind of stood there like he thought there was more to it. Cam essentially pushed him over with a reverse gutwrench kinda thing. Awkward. Sharp gained control and kept Cam!!ikaze grounded using holds like the Sharpshooter. Cam made his comeback and hit a Michinoku Driver (his finisher), but Sharp kicked out. Cam’s jaw practically hit the mat, then he scooped up Sharp and tried to hit the driver again, but was countered into a small package for a two count. Cam hit the Michinoku Driver a second time and that’s all she wrote.
T-Bone Jack Sloan vs. Chucky Blaze
Remember when T-Bone Jack Sloan was the PWA Heavyweight Champion? Yeah… then he meandered about the card until he ended up with the Mayhem Title, then he lost that, and now here he is. The fans engaged in their customary “T-Bag” chants, eliciting the usual angry response from T-Bone, and HILARITY from the middle-aged woman sitting behind me who said, without even the slightest hint of a joke, “oh, I hear t-bags are good for the yes.” I don’t think she understood why I suddenly started laughing.
T-Bone does not like being called T-Bag. It makes him want to injure Chucky Blaze's internal organs.
This match wasn’t mind-blowing, but it was a solid example of two very good workers putting on a good midcard match. There were no slow spots, and whenever it seemed like things might start to lag they busted out something interesting to get the crowd back into it. Even the one botched spot still mostly worked, when Chucky attempted a springboard body press and missed the second rope. He luckily landed on the bottom rope and was still able to execute the move without hurting anybody.
After a bit of back-and-forth and some near falls, Chucky caught T-Bone square on the chin with a superkick, which the former PWA champ barely managed to kick out of. While Chucky stared at referee Ritchie Howard in disbelief, T-Bone tried to bail out of the ring. Chucky managed to catch T-Bone’s leg and drag him back into the middle of the ring, but T-Bone grabbed a fistful of the apron and it ended up coming with him. While Howard took a moment to shove the apron back into position, T-Bone took the opportunity to kick Chucky south of the border and roll him up with a small package to “earn” the victory.
As soon as I heard the phrase “fast break match” the wheels in my brain started turning to try and churn out an idea about what the hell I was about to watch. The PWA makes up strange stipulations for matches on a semi-regular basis, and apparently that time has rolled around again. A fast break match has a 10 minute time limit (the usual for a PWA match is 20), and no holds… allowed? What? At first I thought the ring announcer flubbed his line, but no, that was right. No holds allowed. Only striking and moves (which, it could be argued, are also holds, since you can’t suplex a guy with getting a hold of him) were allowed. Naturally, Andrew Hawks immediately put M in a wristlock, causing referee Ritchie Howard to remind him that he can’t do that.
The pace of the match was pretty quick, which is unsurprising due to the rules. While it was interesting seeing a match without holds, it also highlighted how important holds are in controlling the pace of the match and making big moves really stick out. When Hawks can hit M with a sit-out powerbomb that’s spun out of a torture rack and I can forget that it happens until I look at my photos from the show, that’s a problem. The end sequence began when M missed a charge in the corner and rammed his shoulder into the post, which Hawks immediately capitalized on with a fujiwara armbar. M tapped out, but there were no hold allowed, so referee Ritchie Howard just ineffectually asked Hawks to let go. I’m not sure why he didn’t disqualify him, since there was no announcement of a “no disqualification” stipulation, but he eventually got Hawks to break the hold… to stand up and yell that he doesn’t care about the rules and is going to break M’s arm. Not sure why he had to stand up for that, but okay. WHOOPS M catches him by surprise with a crucifix for the three count to retain the Mayhem Title when Hawks tried to reapply the armbar.
Ravenous Randy Myers vs. King Dusty Adonis
King Dusty Adonis has had enough of Ravenous Randy's shenanigans. He shows his displeasure by violencing Randy's head.
Ravenous Randy started out by cutting a promo, at which point I realized I’ve never actually heard him cut a promo that was more than about four seconds long. After hearing him go for a few minutes, I was left to wonder why the hell he’s not on the mic at every possible opportunity. Dusty cut a counter-promo demanding that Randy bow to the king, at which point Randy pretended to not understand what that meant. First he extended his hand, then offered a high five, then tried to hug Dusty. Finally the King got frustrated and yelled “NO! Bow! Like this!” and lowered is head… right into a kick in the face from Randy. The first five minutes or so were an extended comedy segment in which Dusty was constantly outwitted and embarrassed, to the point that he ended up bailing to the outside with his singlet pulled down around his knees. Naturally this led to him deciding that he’d had enough and sitting next to an old woman in the crowd… without pulling his singlet back up. Awkward. Once he got back into the ring the two dropped the comedy act and got down to business.
A lot of Randy’s offence features moves I don’t know the name of, so instead of trying to awkwardly describe most of the match, I’m just going to go with “it was pretty good” and cut to the end. After a series of counters-to-counters and near falls for each guy, Ravenous Randy countered one of Dusty’s attempts at something into a bodyslam position, then hit a twisting slam move that I’ve never seen before for the victory. I had a really great angle on it so you guys could have just watched it for yourself, but an obese man walked in front of my camera just as Randy was hitting the move, so you can thank him for having to live with my crap description of it.
I just realized that Chris Steele has held the PWA Championship for nearly a year now. A bland year in which I’m fairly certain he wasn’t even involved in a storyline over the belt, he just defended it against a string of random challengers. This time there’s a feud attached, so that’s nice. Dylan Knight couldn’t claim the belt in a steel cage at Night of Champions and, spoiler alert, he doesn’t do it tonight either.
Australia's primary export is angry wrestlers.
Steele and Knight are easily two of the bigger guys in the PWA, and as such this match had a much different feel than a typical PWA match, with a slower pace and a focus on basic moves delivered with a lot of power behind them (a suplex seems totally devastating when both guys involved are 250 pounds, for example).
Steele got the advantage, but T-Bone had quietly snuck out of the dressing room to lurk near the timekeeper’s table. Steele slammed Knight to the canvas with a gorilla press drop, which is usually the prelude to a match-ending spear, but T-Bone climbed up onto the apron to distract Steele before he could hit his finisher. He didn’t do a very good job, though, because Steele immediately cleaned his clock and turned his attention back to Knight, who had recovered. Upset at being punched in the mush, T-Bone snatched the bell away from the timekeeper and held it up in the corner as Knight attempted to whip Steele into the turnbuckles. Unfortunately for Knight, Steele reversed the Irish whip and Knight took the bell in the small of the back. Steele went for a cover, but T-Bone dove into the ring to break up the fall with a double axe-handle, ending the bout in a disqualification victory for Steele. Knight and T-Bone worked over the PWA champion until Lance Storm came out to make the save. After the fight was broken up, commissioner Kurt Sorochan came out and announced a tag team match on the next Edmonton show featuring Knight and T-Bone taking on Chris Steele and Tommy Dreamer. Yes, that Tommy Dreamer, he’s being brought in for a pair of shows in late August.
Spot of the Night: A tie between Andrew Hawks’ torture rack spun into a sit-out powerbomb and William Saint’s Angel’s Wings. Match of the Night: Ravenous Randy vs. King Dusty Adonis. Overall: This show was decent, but was probably my least favourite PWA show that I’ve attended this year. It seemed like a show that only existed to promote that Tommy Dreamer is going to be on some shows in August, and the rest of it was secondary as far as management was concerned.
Verne Gagne’s American Wrestling Association is a promotion that I’d heard of, but never really knew anything about, so naturally I was intrigued when I saw The Spectacular Legacy of the AWA DVD in the bargain bin at Zellers for five bucks. Most of my knowledge of the AWA came from matches on WWE compilation DVDs and Vance Nevada’s book Wrestling in the Canadian West, which featured a section on the AWA (who ran in Manitoba).
The format of The Spectacular Legacy of the AWA will be familiar if you’ve seen any of the other WWE DVDs focused on another promotion. Disc 1 features a three hour documentary chronicling the AWA from the beginning of Verne Gagne’s career as a wrestler through to the closing down of the company in the mid-1990s. As far as I’m concerned, the documentary alone is well worth the five dollars I dropped to pick this thing up. The first few segments focus on Verne Gagne and his career as a wrestler, which eventually leads into the founding of his own promotion and breaking away from the National Wrestling Alliance, which seems to have been a hotbed of world championship controversy amongst the NWA promoters. So essentially it was the same as it is now.
Once the AWA is established in name, we start to hear about the promotion itself and Verne Gagne’s approach to presenting his product. The AWA focused quite heavily on the athletic competition in the ring, focusing less on over-the-top characters (although they were certainly there) and more on the wrestlers’ abilities as athletes. This was probably based on the fact that Gagne’s character as a wrestler was all about his abilities as an athlete, and he was the top guy in the promotion for a good chunk of it’s run. There was a lot of interesting stuff about wrestling and the early days of television, including that the AWA’s average rating throughout it’s television run was a 25. Think about that. 25. RAW nowadays gets a 3-point-something. There are a ton of completely sensible reasons for that disparity, but it’s still impressive.
All of the natural wrestling documentary bits follow, including the heyday of the promotion, Vince McMahon coming onto the scene with the WWF and the decline of the AWA after that, culminating in Verne Gagne’s induction into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2006. The bonus features on disc 1 are mostly interesting stories that didn’t fit into the narrative flow of the documentary. There are also a few classic promos.
Disc 2 features a selection of matches from the AWA’s history. I won’t say they’re classics, because it’s hard to judge the quality of matches from as early as the ’70s, especially when they aren’t even shown in full. The first few matches are Gagne-centric, and start near the finishes, probably because they’re all in the 40 minutes plus range. The first really solid match features a young Pat Patterson teaming with Ray “The Crippler” Stevens to take on two guys whose names I’ve forgotten and I’m not going to look up. Hulk Hogan appears briefly in the middle with a championship victory over Nick Bockwinkel (which it mentioned in the documentary was overturned later and the title returned to Bockwinkel) and about five minutes of brawling with Mr. Saito and some other folks, leading to the announcement of a handicap match which is then not shown, despite being the title of that particular chapter on the DVD. The disc ends with the controversial AWA/WCCW Championship unification match at SuperClash III between Jerry “The King” Lawler (AWA Champion) and Kerry Von Erich (WCCW champ). While it’s fascinating that a match can be compelling despite neither guy actually doing moves. Jerry Lawler’s entire offence involved punching Von Erich, both with and without a pair of brass knuckles which he kept in his tights (apparently having his hand down his pants for half the match didn’t tip off the referee). Von Erich crowned the king with his own piledriver, but other than that it was all punches and discus punches. And buckets of blood.
My favourite matches in the collection:
The Midnight Rockers vs. Playboy Buddy Rose and Pretty Boy Doug Sommers in a steel cage match. Except for Marty Jannetty deciding to take the night off from selling, this was a really good match.
Nick Bockwinkel vs. Curt Hennig. Oh man. Two masterful technicians doing what they do best. I could have done without the after-match shenanigans featuring Larry Zbyszko, but the match was still very good.
Jerry Lawler vs. Kerry Von Erich. Despite neither guy actually doing moves, this match was still very compelling. The King is somehow both a great and terrible worker at the same time, in that he can work a crowd and psychology like no other, but has pretty much the same arsenal of moves now, at 61 years old, that he did in his prime.
Should you buy this? If you’re interested in the history of the AWA, absolutely. If you can find it for cheap like I did, there’s no question about it: buy this. The documentary alone is worth it. The matches are more of a mixed bag. Some of them, most of which I called out, were excellent. Some of them weren’t. Some of them were in the middle. Much like the other WWE productions, match selection is a little bit questionable, and choosing matches that needed to be cut down significantly seems counter-productive. There are a few gems worth seeing, though.
I forgot to mention this when I first posted them, but there’s new art in the Fan Art section, courtesy Roger Broemeling. There’s a long story behind that drawing, which I will write into a blog post at some point. There’s also a sketch of Dick the Bastard and concept art for a new character in the Bonus Art section.
MONSTER PRO WRESTLING: SHATTERED DREAMS
Saturday, June 16th, 2011
The Grindhouse
The Grindhouse, as it turns out, is a hockey rink. There were 62 people present in the audience at the opening bell (I counted), and probably around 70 by the end of the first match. Commissioner/ring announcer Nino got into the ring to start the show, then realized that his mic was broken. Not an ideal start, but things picked up quickly.
Massive Damage vs. Chris Perish
Massive Damage went from being a contender for the Heavyweight Title to not even being booked, and confronted Nino, who apparently is both the ring announcer and the commissioner. Nino praised Massive Damage’s experience and accomplishments, and said that even though he was no longer in the Heavyweight Title picture, the MPW Provincial Title was the only belt that Damage hadn’t won yet, so maybe he should go after that. The current Provincial Champion, Nite, proceeded to come out with cronies Chris Perish and Mutato to protest the commissioner siccing Damage on him and
Massive Damage gives Chris Perish a moment to ponder the unfairness of the universe before throwing him around like a football.
saying that if Damage was going to get a title shot, he should have to earn it like everyone else. I suspect his argument was motivated by the fact that his entire body was smaller than one of Damage’s legs. Much bantering ensued, the upshot of which was that Chris Perish would face Massive Damage right now, and if Damage won he’d get a title match at a later date. Chris Perish was very unhappy with this, as he too is smaller than one of Damage’s legs, and claimed that he was unprepared because he hadn’t had time to stretch out his quads, to which Nino responded “Quads? You call those quads?” In my favourite line of the entire night, Perish screamed “Yes! Quads! I have four of them! Quads!”
The match started slowly, with extended sequences of Perish being wary of Damage punctuated by Damage throwing Perish around the ring like he was a toy. Perish decided that he’d had enough and started to head to the back, but Damage followed him and threw him back in the ring. Perish gained the advantage when Mutato grabbed Damage’s leg as he slid into the ring, preventing him from getting up and murdering Chris Perish.
Perish worked on Damage’s neck for most of the match, aided by Mutato, who choked Damage on the ropes whenever the opportunity to do so presented itself. My favourite part of his offence was a simple ten punch in the corner, which in and of itself, wasn’t very interesting, but when the fans started to count he screamed “I CAN COUNT, I DON’T NEED YOU!” and then continued to punch in silence. Damage eventually made his comeback, hitting a variety of suplexes. He attempted to suplex Perish from the apron into the ring, but Mutato pulled out his leg, causing Perish to fall on top of Damage for the three count. Another referee immediately interjected, telling the bout’s referee what had happened. After a short conference with Nino, the match was restarted. Massive Damage won in about 20 seconds with a spear that looked like it broke Perish in half.
“Mr. Beefy Goodness” Vance Nevada vs. Spooky Bonanza
Vance Nevada wrote a very interesting book chronicling the history of pro wrestling in the Canadian West, which has nothing to do with this match but is worth mentioning. Spooky Bonanza is a comedy character, and started the match by running around and flailing his arms like a madman before squatting in the corner as still as a statue. Vance Nevada made
a big show of removing his tearaway pants, straight out of 1998, to reveal his hot pink trunks with “Beefy” written on the butt. Spooky bailed out of the ring screaming “ew ew ew” and trying to erase the mental image of Nevada stripping by rubbing his eyes so hard they burst into flames.
Once Spooky got into the ring, he challenged Nevada to a test of strength, then kept switching which hand was in there as Nevada tried to accept the challenge. This went on for a good 30 seconds until Nevada gave up and started beating on Spooky. Nevada kept “accidentally” cheating, and at one point was making the referee explain to him why choking Spooky with his boot was illegal while kneeling on his throat. He transitions into a camel clutch, but Spooky counters by standing up and falling backward. On the offence, Spooky went for a ten-spot slamming Nevada’s head into the turnbuckle, but the crowd messed up the count when the pace of slamming changed, so he tried it again in a different corner. Nobody cared. He hit a pair of atomic drops, then mocked Nevada from behind. Spooky missed a running avalanche in the corner, then Nevada rolled him up and put his feet on the ropes for the leverage he needed to get the three count.
Mixed Tag Team Match Mutato & Dawnamatrix vs. Sonic Insanio & Sexy Samantha
This one was off to an inauspicious start. Mutato and Dawnamatrix attempted to whip Sonic Insanio and Sexy Samantha into each other, but they dosey-do’d, ducked under clotheslines from the heels, and dropkicked the heels as they turned around. Except that Dawnamatrix didn’t turn around until Sexy Samantha clapped loudly several times, then botched taking the dropkick so that Sam barely tapped her with one foot. Things improved quickly as the faces hit a series of double team moves culminating in Sam reverse power slamming Sonic onto Mutato, then the two girls began chain wrestling. Sam got the advantage and Dawnamatrix tagged in Mutato, which called Sonic Insanio into the ring. Kind of.
Sexy Samantha about to hit Dawnamatrix with a fisherman's suplex while Sonic Insanio looks on from the apron.
Whether or not the guys were actually allowed to be in the ring with the girls was unclear, but it didn’t cause any particular problems so I kind of ignored it. The heels took over, as heels often do. At one point the girls botched a clothesline spot, with Dawnamatrix throwing a high clothesline that was intended to miss, but Sam went down anyway despite being about a foot away from contact. Apparently I was the only one in the audience who thought this was terrible enough to boo loudly. Anyway, the match continued and the referee was distracted for some reason (the same referee who would get distracted in every other match he was in). Dawnamatrix stood around awkwardly, looking at the referee then Sam repeatedly for about 10 seconds before the ref turned around, then hit an X-Factor for the win.
Wiseman Pierce vs. Taylor Stone
Oh my god this match lasted AT LEAST a hundred years. If this match had been ten minutes, and the pace adjusted accordingly, it would have been a serviceable midcard match. As it was, it went somewhere in the range of 20 minutes (probably closer to 25), and it became abundantly clear that Wiseman Pierce was not experienced enough to wrestle a match that long. He wasn’t BAD, and his gimmick was kind of neat, he just had very little offence. Unfortunately, he was the heel, so he was on offence most of the time. The match was essentially Stone doing something interesting, then Pierce putting him in a hold for about a minute, at which point Stone would get the crowd behind him in a hope spot before getting shut down. The whole affair mercifully came to an end after Stone hit a
"Why oh why is this match still going!?" laments Tyler Stone.
double arm DDT for the pin. Afterwards, Nite and his henchmen came out and beat up Stone, which ended when some other faces chased the heels away after Nite had hit Stone with his own double arm DDT. I immediately wished that had happened much earlier.
Intermission. On the plus side, I really needed a break after the last match. On the downside, it’s not great going into an intermission praising higher powers that the lead-in match finally ended.
Nite came out with his lackeys, Mutato and Chris Perish, as well as a mannequin head for some reason. Tyler James came out and cleared the ring by swinging his tag team title belt around, which made a noise like a gunshot when he smacked it against the ropes.
The match started off with some solid chain wrestling, during which both guys tried to work over the left arm of their opponent. Unlike the previous matches, these guys busted out some fairly intricate submission/weardown holds, like a figure-four butterfly lock. Notable mid-match spots included a really interesting see-saw suplex sequence in which both guys kept going for suplexes and being blocked. Eventually Nite managed to get James halfway over before James countered and fluidly muscled Nite over. For the most part, both wrestlers went hold-for-hold with each other. Whenever James got an advantage, Nite would use his superior striking to target James’ left arm. When Nite got in control, James was able to use his size and strength advantage to counter him.
In a great bit of psychology, even as Nite was being hammered by shoulder tackles (the aforementioned countering via
Nite couldn't decide whether to use a butterfly lock or a figure four, so he did both.
size and strength), he was always on James’ left side, which resulted in the collisions doing as much damage to James as they did to Nite. James countered a clothesline into a floatover DDT, but the referee was distracted by Chris Perish, who climbed up onto the apron to prevent his boss from losing the title. James then hit a variation of the Osaka street cutter (in this case, a reverse suplex into a stunner), but of course couldn’t pin the champ because Mutato distracted the referee. Nite attempted to regain the advantage, but James countered his tilt-a-whirl backbreaker attempt into what I can only describe as La Mistica with less spinning. He cranked on Nite’s left shoulder, which he had worked on earlier, but the referee failed to see Nite tapping out as Nite’s henchmen distracted him for the third time in about two minutes. The official had had enough and demanded they leave ringside, which caused Nite to walk out in disgust after them. James wouldn’t let Nite escape, though, and slammed him into the boards (the show was in a hockey rink, remember), the battered him on the outside before hitting a flying elbow drop onto a prone Nite from a chair. I couldn’t see from my vantage point, but I’m told Nite hit a low blow on James, then rolled back into the ring at the referee’s 9 count. Nite retained the title, but James was quick to demand a rematch. It’s worth noting that the referee for this match would also referee the main event, which is an important aspect of the story.
The match started with a few spots to demonstrate Hammer’s significant strength advantage, including a slap exchange which left Posey flat on his back. Forearm smashes in the corner left Posey on his feet, but only because the ropes were holding him up. Hammer held Posey up for about five seconds in a very well-executed stalling vertical suplex. Mr. Intensity took a powder before long, frustrating Hammer by bailing back out to the floor whenever Hammer got anywhere near him.
Vance Nevada provides totally legal support to "Mr. Intensity" Mark Posey against Jack Hammer. Totally legal in the sense that the referee didn't see it, because he was terrible at his job.
Posey gained and maintained the advantage with help from Vance Nevada. Whenever Hammer managed to turn the tables on Posey, Nevada would interject himself to give Posey time to recover. My favourite bit of ringside shenanigans involved Hammer chasing both men around the ring in a fit of rage. As Posey continued to run around the ring, Nevada ducked into the crowd two seats over from me and sat there pretending to be fan, which was either good enough to trick Hammer, or Hammer was just content beating the tar out of Posey, whom he had caught up with.
Posey gained control and did his best to neutralize Hammer’s power advantage with holds like the abdominal stretch (naturally given a little extra pressure by Vance Nevada’s assistance). Hammer came back, hitting a piledriver, but Posey was close enough to the ropes that Nevada was able to drape his leg over the bottom strand to break up the count. The two contenders battered each other with clotheslines, culminating in a double clothesline, which Posey recovered from slightly quicker. He hooked Hammer up in a suplex position and yelled that it was all over, which turned out to be true. Unfortunately for Posey, the end was Hammer countering into a small package for the three count.
But wait! Throughout the match, Hammer had become more and more frustrated with the official for missing every instance of Vance Nevada’s interference, at one point threatening to punch the official. This particular referee’s incompetence had been built up throughout the evening (he had missed Nite tapping out due to distractions from Mutato and Chris Perish, missed the low blow that allowed Nite to score the count-out victory, and been distracted by wrestlers’ seconds at every opportunity). Once Posey realized he was beaten, he smashed the referee from behind, then claimed that Hammer had done it. The referee, likely upset that his glasses were now in the front row, changed his decision and disqualified Hammer, which took the wind right out of Hammer and the crowd. Hammer called Nino into the ring, who upheld the referee’s decision as final, but granted Hammer a rematch at the next show with the added stipulation that there would be a second referee. I suspect that additional terrible officials won’t be as helpful as Hammer seemed to think.
Spot of the Night: Nite and Tyler James’ see-saw suplex exchange. Match of the Night: Nite vs. Tyler James. Strong psychology and interesting offence put this one over the main event for match of the night. Overall: The storytelling throughout the show was pretty strong. The referee who would go on to be an integral part of the main event made at least one bad call every time he was in the ring, establishing that he was terrible and easily taken advantage of. The in-ring work was hit-and-miss, with some of the wrestlers clearly being very talented while others needed a lot of work.
I haven’t updated the roster page in quite a while, and we’ve had quite a few new faces and they’ve all got roles in the Super Max Challenge Cup story, so over the weekend I did up roster page entries for a few of the more prominent new characters. So hit up the Roster page to see the brand new entries for Johnny Law, El Gangster II, Rod Black, and Dr. Fat.
The Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo starts on June 17th! I will be there at the Open Door Comics table in the Artist’s Alley section (table B12, I believe) with brand spanking new copies of the HEAT Volume 1 trade paperback, which features 120 pages of the HEAT you love with bonus commentary on every strip and a 14 page back-up story written by me and drawn by Daniel Schneider which features Mad Doc Crockett challenging Ragnar Rasmussen for the Galactic Championship.
Rudi Gunther, author of dead//life, drew up some fan art for everyone’s favourite cartoonishly obese grappler, Dr. Fat. Head over to the Fan Art section and check it out.
PWA ADRENALIZE
Saturday, May 21st, 2011
Century Casino Showroom, Edmonton, AB
On a hot May night in Edmonton, the PWA performed in front of the hot crowd in the Century Casino Showroom. There weren’t as many people in the audience as usual, likely due to the May long weekend, the people that were there got into the action early and stayed jacked throughout the night, making this show a lot louder than most of the more well-attended shows with names that make more sense.
Things started off with some of the wrestlers surrounding the ring while a ten-bell salute was sounded to honour the passing of Macho Man Randy Savage the day previous. After that, it was on to the first match of the evening.
Bobby Sharp vs. Nightmare #2
Since Nightmare #4 hasn’t been around for several months now, Nightmare #2 is introduced as “The Nightmare.” I don’t think I’ve seen Bobby Sharp wrestle without tag team partner Scotley Crue before. Nightmare takes it to Sharp
Nightmare #2 hefts Bobby Sharp in a fireman's carry.
early, but Sharp manages to low bridge a charging Nightmare and take control. Sharp works the knee, using a variety of toe-hold variations and culminating in a figure four. Nightmare manages to reverse the figure four, then peppers Sharp with strikes after the hold his broken. With his foe reeling, Nightmare climbs the ropes and goes for a double axe-handle smash, but Sharp ducks out of the way and Nightmare’s knee buckles. Nightmare gets up gingerly and walks right into a uranagi bomb, which is enough to keep him down for the three.
I liked this match a lot as an opener. Nightmare is over with the fans, and Bobby Sharp’s name is easily mocked in chant-form (Booby and Barbie being the perennial favourites), so they got the crowd energized early and managed to keep them that way.
“T-Bone” Jack Sloan vs. M
T-Bone is the Mayhem Champion, although this is a non-title match. Like fellow heel Bobby Sharp, T-Bone also decides to work the leg of M after being made to look like a boob early on by the much faster M. The former Marky Mark made a few attempts at a comeback by hitting counter-moves whenever T-Bone moved away from his methodical attack on the knee. This played into the finish, as T-Bone looked like he was going for some kind of big slam which M countered into victory roll for the, well, victory.
After the match, M, grabbed the Mayhem Title and celebrated before ring announcer What About Ivan pointed out that it was a non-title match, so T-Bone kept the gold. Frustrated by this, M grabbed a microphone and told T-Bone that he might walk away with the belt, but he knows that he just lost clean twice in a row (apparently this was a rematch from last week’s Calgary show), then challenges T-Bone to put the gold on the line in a Mayhem match, which is a kind of weird term that the PWA uses to encapsulate a variety of different gimmick matches. T-Bone says he would relish the chance to rip off M’s head and tear out all the stuffing inside him. Gross. Anyway, this is later turned into a steel cage weapons match, which should be pretty exciting.
Valkyrie chokes Jordyn Brooks on the ropes while referee Reginald Patterson ineffectually pleads for her to stop.
Valkyrie vs. Jordyn Brooks
Another rematch, although this one is from last month’s Hysteria show. And maybe the last Calgary show, too; the women’s division isn’t all that deep. In both matches I’ve seen with Jordyn Brooks, Valkyrie has been in a weird position where she comes off as the heel AND the face because her personality overshadows Jordyn’s so much. These two gals work pretty well together, but Valkyrie’s energy working the crowd really pushed this one to a higher level than it would have been at purely based on in-ring work. Jordyn Brooks seemed poised to put Valkyrie away after hitting a flatliner, but rookie referee Reginald Patterson got involved when Jordyn climbed up onto the middle turnbuckle to administer a ten punch spot. After the second punch, Patterson hauled Jordyn down off the ropes and started admonishing her for using a closed fist, which gave Valkyrie time to recover and roll up her opponent (after hitting her a few times for no reason).
Dylan Knight vs. William Saint
William Saint is new to the PWA, but I didn’t get a very good idea of what he could do in this match, since it was essentially a 6 minute-ish squash. Dylan Knight, who was the only PWA roster member involved in a main event with the Dudley Boyz and Lance Storm back in March, came out on the warpath and spent most of the match throwing Saint around like he was a child. Saint got in a little bit of offence to keep things interesting, but it wasn’t the kind of match that was going to showcase his moveset. Knight hit a modified death valley driver, which featured a throw-off into a landing reminiscent of a neckbreaker, and that was more than enough to end Saint’s night.
King Dusty Adonis & Paul Brown vs. Chucky Blaze & Yukon Jack
Paul Brown and Yukon Jack are local DJ’s at 100.3 The Bear, a hard rock radio station here in Edmonton, who are engaged in a charity competition that I don’t know the specifics of. Paul Brown and Yukon Jack are both hosts of The Paul Brown Show, the Bear’s morning show, along with Jillian Foote, who served as the guest ring announcer for the bout. King Dusty Adonis comes out first with Paul Brown and some schmuck in a powder blue suit straight out of the
Prince Paul Brown addresses the crowd as King Dusty Adonis looks on approvingly.
1970s, then cuts a promo about how “Prince” Paul Brown is the only person he’s found that is worthy to tag with him. He passes the mic off to Paul Brown, who, as a guy who talks professionally, cuts a pretty decent promo about how the audience is poor and stupid. So, y’know, a generic heel promo, but with nice delivery. Also, he was wearing the toy Dusty Adonis crown sold in the merch stands, which I found inexplicably funny. Chucky Blaze and Yukon Jack then came out and a very odd match took place. It had been talked about on the radio and in the build-up that Brown and Yukon had trained at the PWA academy, which leads me to believe that Paul Brown either didn’t bother to show up to those training sessions or is the worst student in the history of time. When he would tag out to Dusty… he wouldn’t actually exit the ring. He’d just stand there like a knob wherever he made the tag from while the referee yelled at him to get out of the ring. The referee eventually gave up. Inexplicably from a match construction standpoint, Yukon Jack, the radio host with only a few months of wrestling training, was the one who was isolated by heel team. I give him credit for being willing to take the bumps, but Blaze and Adonis really should have been in the ring for 90% of this thing. Eventually Chucky Blaze got the hot tag and hit a suicide dive onto Dusty on the floor which slammed Dusty and the security railing into the first row. Eventually Dusty Adonis was taken out of the equation with a superkick and Yukon Jack hit Paul Brown with something resembling the People’s Elbow with some Randy Savage flourishes. Yukon Jack then cut a promo that was essentially “I’m a wrestling fan and that’s okay!” On the way to intermission, one of the extra photographers tripped and tore down part of the entrance curtain. I laughed at his expense because I am a bad person.
Intermission
After the intermission, promoter Kurt Sorochan comes out and announces that the next Edmonton show will be Night of Champions (one of the PWA’s two biggest shows of the year, along with the anniversary show) in June at NAIT. He announces some of the card, including Tex Gaines’ final match before retirement against Chucky Blaze, a match to crown the first ever Women’s Champion featuring Valkyrie, Jordyn Brooks, and K.C. Spinelli, M vs. T-Bone in a Mayhem Championship steel cage weapons match, and a Money in the Bank match featuring Stryfe, Alex Plexis, Nightmare #2, Gama Singh Jr, Deryck Crosse, and King Dusty Adonis, as well as, potentially, others.
This is the third Edmonton show in a row to feature a Cruiserweight title match between Cam-ikaze and Andrew Hawks, and I’m totally fine with that. This was similar to their last match, but longer. I was happy that they didn’t copy any spots from previous matches, but instead gave the impression they were going to before taking things in a different direction. Cam-ikaze seems to have figured out how to do high flying moves without killing himself on the low ceiling (his solution, incidentally, is to do all the big high flying moves on the floor). Hawks tends to use a cruiserweight power arsenal against Cam-ikaze, including the double-arm backbreaker that Chris Jericho used to use in WCW all the time
Cam-ikaze stands on his head on the turnbuckle. He does this a lot, and eventually he's going to get kicked in the face.
and a really cool Gory Special/Oklahoma Stampede combination (which I shall henceforth refer to as the Gory Stampede and probably steal to use in my comic at some point). I took a bunch of video during this match and threw it up on my YouTube channel, so I’ll refer you to that instead of trying to encapsulate most of it textually. Towards the end of the bout, Hawks started trying to lock in a Texas Cloverleaf, which probably would have benefited from knee work like in the first two bouts, although on the other hand, time ran out before Cam could give up, so perhaps it did make sense not to work the knee to support that. Either way, it went to a 20 minute time limit draw, which got Hawks good and angry. He cut a promo demanding a rematch, claiming that Cam was seconds away from tapping out and also that he deserved the Cruiserweight belt because he’d been screwed so many times (apparently throwing the ref in front of a dropkick results in a disqualification. Who knew?). Kurt Sorochan granted the rematch, with no time limit so there would be no excuses, but it’s Hawks’ final shot against Cam-ikaze.
Evan Adams & Eclipse vs. Flex On The Beach (Brady Roberts & Scotty Putty)
Evan Adams and Eclipse are the PWA Canadian Tag Team Champions (which still confuses me, as the tag titles are the only ones that have “Canadian” in front of them), but those belts aren’t on the line for this match. That seemed weird to me until after the show had ended and I realized that this match’s purpose was to inject some levity in between a pair of long, intense wars. Scotty Putty, who joined forces with surfer Brady Roberts at the last show, now rocks the same surfer-style trunks as Brady, and has also acquired some of Brady’s “being ambiguously gay is an instant source of heat” gimmick. The match starts with Brady insisting that Scotty needs sunscreen to wrestle, and rubbing it on his back to a chorus of boos and jeers. Once they had isolated Evan Adams, Scotty started doing crunches with Adams locked in a figure four head scissors. Shortly thereafter, he hefted Adams into a fireman’s carry and started doing squats before having a hard time and shouting for Brady’s help. Brady helped by groping Scotty’s nipples while helping him lift Adams. More boos. Adams would get his revenge, though. Brady missed a charge in the corner and slammed shoulder-first into the post. Scotty attempted to charge Adams, who ducked out of the way and shoved Scotty crotch first into Brady’s butt. That repeated a few times to raucous laughter. Eventually Adams got the hot tag to Eclipse, who hit a few falcon arrows, then awkwardly reversed an O’Connor roll for the three count. Scotty got caught blatantly pulling Eclipse’s trunks, and the referee would have none of that, allowing Eclipse to reverse the roll. Except that the reversal got Scotty tangled up in the ropes, so Eclipse had to drag him out to get the pin.
I`ve talked about how hot the crowd was for this show a little bit already, but this match really pushed things to the boiling point. Both Ravenous Randy and Chris Steele are faces, and going into this match I figured it would just be another in the long line of underwhelming Steele title defences. Boy was I ever wrong. Both guys started the match by trying to get the crowd on their side, which resulted in – I shit you not – roughly EIGHT straight minutes of duelling “let’s go Steele” and “let’s go Randy” chants. I’ve never heard anything like it. At the aforementioned eight minute mark the crowd started to get worn out and things devolved into a steady, dull roar. Before the five minute mark, both men had hit a plancha to the floor. Most of that five minutes was spent brawling, but after Steele slammed Randy on the floor and dropped him across the guard rail, things headed back inside the ring where the two traded flurries of offence. Ravenous Randy showed more offence in this one match than I think I’ve ever seen him deliver in total, and a lot of it was pretty cool, including a Northern Lights suplex, an interesting version of a tornado DDT, and flying elbow drop in tribute to the late Macho Man Randy Savage. After over fifteen minutes of action, Steele pressed Ravenous Randy over his head and splattered him on the mat with a gorilla press drop, then waited in the corner, gesturing for Randy to get up so he could spear him. As Steele started to take off for the spear, Dylan Knight ran out and pulled out his legs, then crotched him on the ring post before grabbing the PWA Championship belt and cleaning Ravenous Randy’s clock, ending the bout in a no contest.
After the match, Dylan Knight cut a promo while holding the PWA title belt. He claimed that it should be his belt, which prompted a brawl between the three wrestlers which took all four referees and management members Don “Sgt. Hazard” Ferguson, Kurt Sorochan, and Lance Storm to break up. Once things had settled down a little bit, Sorochan announced that he was sick of these three sticking their noses into each other’s business (wait, what? I’ve never seen these three interact before. If this storyline took place mostly in Calgary, paying it off in Edmonton probably isn’t a great idea), they would settle things at Night of Champions. In a triple threat steel cage match. And none of that “escape the cage” jazz, either.
Ring announcer What About Ivan ran down the Night of Champions card as the show ended.
Spot of the Night: Hawks’ Gory Stampede. I love that move. Match of the Night: Andrew Hawks vs. Cam-ikaze. Steele vs. Ravenous Randy came reeeally close because of the crowd energy involved, but Hawks vs. Cam is the kind of match I’d watch over on DVD without it losing it’s magic. Overall: This was the second best Edmonton show this year, behind the 10th Anniversary Show, which only Night of Champions will have a decent shot of dethroning, in my estimation. The only bad match was the tag team match with the guys from the Bear, but even that had some cool spots when Chucky and Dusty finally got into the ring together.
The internet wrestling community spends most of its time complaining. I have been known to indulge in my share of that complaining, because really, other people doing things that are terrible is a fun area to mine for comedy. On the other hand, people who buy/watch/whatever a product just to complain about it annoy the crap out of me, which resulted in thinking about finding positives. So here are some decidedly terrible aspects of wrestling today that I’ve dug around to find the positives of.
Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler’s Neverending Feud
Why People Complain: Jerry “The King” Lawler, while undeniably a legend of wrestling, is 61 years old. Michael Cole is not a trained wrestler, and also does his best every week to make WWE television unwatchable. Their feud has gotten at least 15 minutes on RAW for MONTHS now, pissing away time that could be used to build up young wrestlers or at least establish an actual midcard on the WWE’s flagship show. It Could Be Worse: On last night’s (Monday, May 16th) episode of RAW, Jerry Lawler put over Jack Swagger as a former champion with high-level skill being held back by Cole’s douchebaggery. Swagger might come out of this feud as the big winner, with renewed relevance. Also, Cole’s singlet allows us to see his hilariously awful tattoos while not having to see much else of his “physique.” Could you imagine having to watch him parade around in the traditional speedo-style trunks? I would have bleached my optical nerves by now.
Christian is World Heavyweight Champion… for Five Days Why People Complain: After carrying TNA’s main event scene as the NWA World Heavyweight Champion and 17 years of putting on consistently high-quality matches, Christian finally won the big one in the big leagues, with his best friend at ringside. Internet fangasms galore at the thought of Christian getting a run at the top of the card. Then the spoilers come out and it’s revealed that Christian loses the belt to Randy Orton in his first title defence. Fans go berserk. It Could Be Worse: Christian and Orton had a very good match, then followed it up with an excellent tag team contest against Sheamus and Mark Henry. While Orton is boring as fuck, he’s decent enough in the ring that a guy like Christian (or CM Punk in recent months) can drag good matches out of him, and Christian will be able to carry the feud on the mic while Orton stares intently at nothing while trying to remember what he’s supposed to say next. The feud also means that Christian might regain the WHC at some point down the road. And, above all else, at least Randy Orton and John Cena have been separated so we don’t have to see them main event the other 17 or so PPVs WWE will be putting on this year.
TNA Becomes Impact Wrestling, No Other Changes Are Made Why People Complain: TNA’s roster features a strong base of young, talented wrestlers capable of amazing feats of athleticism and top-shelf matches. Under the Hogan/Bischoff regime (and before that, but especially so now), these guys have been swept aside in favour of twenty minute promos that accomplish nothing but to set up medicore-at-best matches with screwy finishes featuring a revolving door of past-their-expiration-date former stars and WWE cast-offs. AJ Styles? Feuding with Tommy Dreamer. Samoa Joe? Not even on pay-per-view. Oh, and their Heavyweight Champion was a raging drug addict who showed up to work a match while nearly comatose. On pay-per-view. It Could Be Worse: While Vince Russo being in charge of creative and Hogan and Bischoff turning TNA into the clusterfuck that killed WCW seems like as bad as it can get, it could be worse. Vince Russo could be on TV and integral to storylines. While most people have blocked it from their memory, he used to have long promo segments, often involving building a mostly pointless faction that includes half of the roster. Now, to be fair, that’s basically what Immortal was, except with Hogan and Bischoff at the head, but I contend that those two knuckleheads are marginally more desireable than listening to Vince Russo spout wrestling insider terms laced with the attitude that he’s the edgiest motherfucker on the planet and that worked shoots are the pinnacle of storytelling. And the best news is that whoever is pumping money into this disaster of a company will decide to pull the plug, allowing the young talent to either move on to the WWE or hit the North American indy scene with a much healthier bank account and be made to look like the stars they are in Ring of Honor or somewhere.
