HEAT #466 – Trails’ End part 8
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HEAT #466 – Trails’ End part 8

by Jeff on November 27, 2017 at 6:07 pm
Posted In: Heat Comics

And that’s a wrap! The last HEAT page. It’s always bittersweet to come to the end of a comic, especially one that lasts as long as HEAT did. One the one hand, there’s a great sense of accomplishment; on the other, something that’s been a big part of your life is finished.

So let’s talk about what’s next – I’m going to be doing a new webcomic, which a handful of you might remember as a thing I did a couple issues of in print many years ago. It’s called HELL, INC., and is an office comedy set in hell. For more on that, hit up my various social media accounts, or keep an eye on the blog section of this site.

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HEAT and the 2016 Match of the Year: How My List Stacked Up

by Jeff on January 28, 2017 at 5:41 am
Posted In: Blog

The annual Voices of Wrestling Match of the Year poll has been conducted, and I thought that instead of just posting my list in full, I’d compare my list to how the overall voting shook out. Instead of going through a 1-10 list, I’m going to reorganize my list based on where the matches ended up after all hundred-and-whatever voters cast their ballots, and add some comments as to where the match finished.

First, a quick explanation of my voting mentality. I sit down and start thinking about what I liked from the year, and typically the matches that have managed to stick in my memory are the ones that make the list. If I run out of matches that really jump out at me, I dig through match listings to see if I remember anything. Sometimes I’ll see something from a promotion I don’t follow that has buzz, and I’ll watch that, but I only rewatch matches if I need to refresh myself on what happened so I can write a blurb about it. Otherwise, if I don’t remember the match, I can’t have thought it was THAT good.

Sadness Village/Honourable Mentions

The first category is for matches that didn’t make the top 100, which is most of them. Personally, I had two matches end up in Sadness Village.

1 Point Matches – 10. Michael Richard Blais vs. Marky – PWA Fright Night (10/22/2016)

I’ll be shocked if any of the voters even saw this, let alone voted for it, but it currently holds the position of the best match I’ve ever seen live, let alone in 2016. Here’s what I wrote about it for Voices of Wrestling: (http://www.voicesofwrestling.com/2016/11/08/pwa-fright-night-2016-october-22-results-review/)

I’m not going to describe this match a whole lot, because it would mostly be “OH SHIT AND THEN THEY DID (spot).” Suffice to say, it’s the best match I’ve ever seen live, and will probably end up in my top 10 matches at the end of the year. These two have wrestled many, many times over the past decade or so, which informed the story of the bout. Blais knows that Marky uses the fans’ support to gut his way through extraordinary amounts of damage. Therefore, clearly Blais needs to kill Marky as quickly as possible. So that’s what he tried to do. A hot opening sequence built to MRB hitting a Death Valley Driver on the apron… from the TOP ROPE. I believe my exact quote in reaction to that spot was “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?!?!?” After a count out tease designed to give time to reanimate Marky’s corpse, Blais took over but couldn’t find a move strong enough to overcome the PWA Original. Some Daniel Bryan chest kicks just pissed off Marky, and sparked his comeback. A bunch of attempted murders happened, and eventually Marky landed his top rope leg drop finisher after several failed attempts. It looks killer. I don’t know if describing a leg drop as looking mean makes any sense, but it looked mean.

Comments: This match ended up exactly where I thought it would. I knew I was going to be the only vote for it, as like 400 people saw it, tops. I just wanted to give a shout out to the best match I’ve seen live thus far.

5 Point Matches – 6. Strong BJ vs. Big Guns – AJPW New Explosion (11/27/2016)

Go to your local grocery store and slam steaks into each other and the floor for half an hour. That’s a pretty accurate recreation of this match. The “beefy guys clobber each other” subcategory of hoss fight is my favourite, but this match added some extra touches that put it past the others and into my top 10. Big Guns finally overcoming Strong BJ, finally hitting the Doomsday Device (and almost killing Sekimoto, which was gnarly), and finally, the smallest touch – Strong BJ was doing a great job running interference to prevent their pins and submissions from being broken up by the illegal Big Gun early in the match, but as the match wore on, Zeus and the Bodyguard starting figuring them out. This led to a fiery finishing stretch full of near falls where it was a legitimate question whether the illegal partner would be able to break it up.

But really, all the details are just there to underscore the roaring and beef-smashing.

Comments: I thought this one might make the top 100, but there were so many great Strong BJs that votes got split up. Phrasing? Naturally, the two longest blurbs I wrote didn’t get used. Also, this blurb is why my word processor started suggesting “beef-smashing” when I type “be.” That’s not a joke, that actually happened.

Shockingly, none of my matches ended up in the #100-76 category, so we’re on to…

#75-51

#54 – 7. Michael Elgin vs. Tetsuya Naito (G1 Climax 26 Night 4) (7/24/2016)

This is my favourite under-the-radar match from 2016. Elgin’s selling of his knee was one of the best performances I’ve ever seen in terms of limbwork effecting a wrestler’s offence, in part because Elgin is so strong that he could purposely screw up power moves without endangering himself and Naito. He sure kept trying to get them right, though, and it ended up biting him. Or, more accurately, smashing his head into the mat. Pete Dunne wasn’t around, so there was no actual biting.

Comments: This was my first blurb to be used in the VOW list. Out of every match on my ballot, the placement of this one shocked me the most. I almost bumped it because I didn’t think anyone would vote for it, but my voting strategy is to go with the most memorable matches, and this is one I still think about. I was certain that it was going to end up in Sadness Village, or maaaaybe get another vote and crack the top 100. I was shocked to learn that not only had it nearly made the top 50, I wasn’t even CLOSE to being the highest vote for it! It’s heart-warming to know some strangers on the internet have good taste.

#50-26

#38 – 5. Kazuchika Okada vs. Naomichi Marufuji (G1 Climax 26 Night 1) (7/18/2016)

The first G1 main event saw Naomichi Marufuji do to Kazuchika Okada what every teacher has wanted to do to some smug, punk-ass kid who keeps pissing them off in class. Every time Okada mounted an offence and started to get cocky, Marufuji reminded him “I beat Misawa, you little shit” and kicked him right in his smirking mouth. I love the grumpy veteran trope in Japan, and Marufuji was the GRUMPIEST.

Comments: By this section of the list, I’m realizing that my taste is more in line with the mainstream of VOW voters than I had expected it to be, as 7 of the 10 matches on my ballot have made the top 50. I expected more people would vote for the King of Pro Wrestling rematch, which they did (it ranked #30), but I was pleased to see that somebody voted this match #1 overall. Thus far in the list, I haven’t been the high man on any of my matches in the top 100 (I was the highest and only vote for both of my Sadness Village picks). Once again, this is my only match in this section of the list, which means 6 out of my 10 matches made the top 25.

#25-11

#15 – 3. Cedric Alexander vs. Kota Ibushi – Cruiserweight Classic Episode 5 (8/10/2016)

Instead of analysis, I’m going to give you a transcript of me watching this match. “Hey, I bet this will be decent. Oh man, this is pretty good. Oh, shit. OH. Shit. OH SHIT. OH SHIT OH SHIT OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT.”

Comments: This blurb was used in the VOW list, and I kind of wish everyone had written their blurbs to be funny instead of just praising matches I probably didn’t watch (I probably saw less than half of the matches that were mentioned). This is also the first match in the top 100 that I was the highest vote for. No regrets, I fucking love this match. It helped turn my friend Dougie into a wrestling nerd.

#14 – 4. The Revival vs. #DIY – NXT Takeover Brooklyn II (8/20/2016)

The Revival spent 2016 reminding us all that tag team wrestling in WWE can be good, if you don’t stick rigidly to their stale formula. The Brooklyn match between the Revival and #DIY was my favourite of their two Takeover bouts because I think a one fall match emphasizes what the Revival are good at: chaotic scrambles where every near fall seems like the end, and every kickout seems like hope is alive in the world.

Comments: For the first time since Sadness Village, I have two matches in the same section of the list! Not only that, but they finished in the order I placed them, right next to each other. Just, y’know, 10 and 11 places farther down. While I feel that this was the better Revival/#DIY match, I’m not surprised that the more recent one where the babyfaces won got more votes. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but most of the internet treats their favourite wrestlers like sports fans treat their favourite team, while often also being derisive of real sports.

#11 – 8. John Cena vs. AJ Styles – WWE Summerslam (7/21/2016)

Since his wonderful US Open Challenge run, John Cena has turned into a video game wrestler, and I fucking love it. He’s the closest a human being can get to being the Incredible Hulk and yet he busts out Yoshi Tonics. He’s taken the WWE big match formula and turned it into a video game match where everyone stores up finishers until they’ve got about 17, and then exchange them for 10 minutes. This was the best time that happened this year, because AJ Styles was part of it, and that man can do no wrong in WWE.

Comments: I was very close to having half of my top 10 list make the overall top 10 list, which is bonkers to me. I’m surprised this one didn’t crack the top 10, as I remember hearing some “five stars” buzz when it happened. Seeing that it was only one point out of the top 10, I kind of wish I had swapped its placement with the Big Guns/Strong BJ AJPW match. It would have also gotten a WWE main roster match into the top 10.

THE TOP TEN!

#7 – 9. Will Ospreay vs. Ricochet – BOSJ Block match (5/27/2016)

There are like 35 blurbs for this match, aren’t there? You’re definitely skimming by now, aren’t you?

This was peak FLIPZ with a great story. Everyone saw it. Everyone loved it. Or has bad taste.

Comments: I thought this one was going to rank in the top 5, but apparently a lot of people were like me and put it in the back half of their list. It was the most important match in terms of buzz, and I think I gave it a very good rating when I watched it, but 2016 was a craaaaazy good year, and it ended up making my list on importance more than straight quality.

#4 – 2. Sami Zayn vs. Shinsuke Nakamura – NXT Takeover Dallas (4/1/2016)

Sometimes a match doesn’t need a story, or a reason to happen. Sometimes it just needs to be CRAZY GOOD. This match made me flail my arms in excitement like Kermit the goddamn Frog while I was watching it, because this match was a perfect explosion of charisma and face-kicking.

Comments: I’m guessing when the stats breakdown comes out, this is going to be the highest ranking match from people who only watch WWE. It’s also the last time Shinsuke Nakamura did anything worth watching in 2016. I did enjoy watching the hype train as fans who don’t watch NJPW climbed all over his dick, then realized he wasn’t the five star match machine they thought he was – he’s a guy with a superstar aura, a really high ceiling and a really low floor. In important matches, like his debut against Sami Zayn, he comes off like the best wrestler in the world. In less important matches, or with lesser opponents, like a past-his-prime Samoa Joe? He’s fine.

#2 – 1. Kazuchika Okada vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi – Wrestle Kingdom 10 (1/4/2016)

Kazuchika Okada went from shitting the bed with Yoshi-Hashi to being the best big match wrestler in the world in the span of 4 years. As a pair, Okada and Tanahashi have been incredibly helpful to me, personally, over the years, as they’ve been my number one match in the VOW poll every year that I’ve participated. It makes it so much easier to fill out the ballot when the most important slot doesn’t require any thought. Okada and Tanahashi are both all-time great pro wrestlers, but together they become super wizards of the mat, casting spells of… I’m tired of this analogy, but you get the point. They’re great. They have great matches. Match of the Year.

Comments: This match not being first overall is criminal. Kenny Omega vs. Tetsuya Naito from the G1 Climax tournament finished first, and while that was an excellent match, I feel like the Kenny Omega hype train after his Wrestle Kingdom match with Okada gave his top end 2016 matches a push. I will fully admit, though, that Omega is very much like Nakamura for me, in that I am consistently lower on him than the general populace of the wrestling internet that I interact with. Anyway, Okada vs. Tanahashi is the best feud of the 2000s, and the only reason I didn’t have BOTH of their big matches from 2016 on my list was because I didn’t want to double up on anything (otherwise I would have had 4 spots taken up by Okada/Tanahashi and #DIY/Revival).

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PWA Christmas Slam 2016 featuring Cody Rhodes

by Jeff on November 28, 2016 at 5:25 am
Posted In: Blog

PWA Christmas Slam 2016

The Cody Rhodes Indie Wrestling Fantasy Camp Tour continues with a stop in Edmonton, Alberta, for the Prairie Wrestling Alliance! I have a feeling that this stop is more on the side of “you met the asking price, so sure” variety than many of his previous appearances in prestige indies like Evolve and PWG, but either way, he’s here and he’s got a shiny new Global Force Wrestling belt with him.

And boy, did it effect the house.

PWA’s attendance patterns are fairly predictable. Whenever they bring in an outside name that people in Alberta wouldn’t get to see otherwise, their numbers spike into the 500s. Occasionally, when they used to run a basketball gym, they could clear 600. Without those names, attendance hovers between one and three hundred, depending on if there’s a cool gimmick match or a feud that’s gotten hot. Last month, I estimated the attendance at 150-200 (we can’t all be Joe Lanza as far as attendance math, I pretty much just estimate based on how many seats are empty). This month? It was whatever the capacity of the Northgate Lions Centre is. The announced attendance of their show with Samoa Joe last year was 545, so let’s call this one 550.

PWA Christmas Slam 2016

Northgate Lions Centre

Edmonton, AB

Estimated Attendance: 550

Julian Lord & Jay Taylor vs. Michael Allen Richard Clark & Richie Rage

Jay Taylor is my new favourite guy in PWA. As mentioned last time, he’s whatever the opposite of a butterface is, and has an “I’m too sexy” gimmick. It’s dripping with irony, as he spends much of his time getting wedgies and taunting the audience with aggressively unsexy poses on the ropes. He’s the kind of guy that probably comes off as kind of funny but otherwise okay on video, but is really entertaining live.

As far as I was concerned, everyone else in this match was just there to give Taylor foils for his act. His partner, Julian Lord, did a dialed down version of Taylor’s gimmick. Think the difference between Rick Rude (Taylor) and Rick Martel (Lord) as far as prettyboy characters go and you’re in the ballpark. Richie Rage was waaaaaay more impressive than his showing the previous month. Michael Allen Richard Clark (it spells MARC. Get it? Ah? Ah? Yeah, it’s not funny) seems like a decent enough worker who absolutely should have been a heel. Their team name is Rage Appeal, playing on MARC’s nickname, “Flex Appeal.” It is a very indie wrestling portmanteau.

Speaking of heels, I had NO IDEA which team were supposed to be the babyfaces in this match. Rage has been a babyface for a while, so I guess it must have been his team, but MARC’s mannerisms were almost entirely heelish. It didn’t help that an early spot in the match featured Rage and MARC pantomiming performing an Eiffel Tower on Lord for about 10 seconds – guys, simulated rape is not a babyface spot, nor is it anything but really gross on a few levels.

Once things got going, this was a fun opening tag that mostly focused on Taylor’s mission to find new and interesting ways to shake his ass at people, and culminated with some cool spots. Rage held up Lord in a stalling suplex that lasted to a count of 15, and shortly thereafter pressed Lord over his head and threw him into a cutter from MARC.

Winners: Rage Appeal via military press/cutter combo. **3/4

Sheik Akbar Shabazz vs. “The Omen” Gabriel

Gabriel Lestat seems to have taken a cue from WWE and decided to go with a Madonna-esque single name. He’s still a vampire. He still walks to the ring with an IV and some blood bags, which is entirely too absurd for the vibe he’s going for. Shabazz is still a guy we’re supposed to hate because he’s foreign, although his hometown was amended from the horrifically racist “Taliban, Ramadan” to the comparatively less racist, but still pretty racist, “Taliban, Lebanon.”* At least Lebanon is a place.

* It is entirely possible Shabazz’ hometown didn’t change and I just heard it wrong last time.

Both of these guys are experienced, big, and work hard. They gelled well, and punctuated each sequence with a power move that gave the match a clear rhythm. The story was Gabriel’s resilience being the difference, as he always managed to recover just a little bit faster than Shabazz. This is the kind of match that’s hard to write about without falling into play-by-play, because it was unspectacular but consistently enjoyable throughout.

I CAN comment on the finish, though, because it was really weird. Looking for a shortcut around Gabriel’s resilience, Shabazz dug some brass knuckles out of his gear. He didn’t hide this well, however, and the referee quickly confiscated the knucks. Then, in a bizarre turn, the referee declined to simply toss the knucks to a ringside attendant – he decided he should personally deliver them to the timekeeper’s table for… reasons? While he was doing that, Shabazz tapped out to a torture rack (which included him yelling “tap out, tap out!” loudly, which made me laugh pretty hard). Gabriel thought he won, but the referee didn’t see the tap, and Shabazz caught him posing on the ropes and hit a Razor’s Edge for a very believable near fall. Shabazz went for something out of a fireman carry, which he had attempted several times, but was thwarted when Gabriel reversed it into a sunset flip for the 3 count.

The entire finishing sequence would have been fine if they had dispensed with the false finish, especially since Shabazz lost anyway. Why have the heel get out of losing a clean fall only to lose a clean fall almost immediately afterward? They could have done that entire finishing sequence without the false finish.

Winner: “The Omen” Gabriel via shenanigans into a sunset flip. ***1/4

PWA Commonwealth Championship Match – Lien Mendel vs. Fabien Ribiero (c)

Lien Mendel is yet another Australian guy trained by Lance Storm. Is Lance Storm ONLY training Australians now? Lien Mendel is all limbs, but his gear looked good and he worked well as a heel. He was a bit over-reliant on the established “Aussie Aussie Aussie” “sucks sucks sucks” call and response (established by another Storm-trained Aussie, Dylan Knight, over the course of nearly a decade) to get reactions, but I think he could develop into a pretty valuable member of the roster.

Fabien Ribiero is very similar to Jay Taylor, in terms of his penchant for using his charisma as the building block for his matches. He manages to make his opponents the butt of jokes without making them look like an idiot, and his dance-walk never ceases to entertain me.

Ribiero’s recent matches have used a structure in which he toys with his opponent a little too much, leaving himself open a counter-attack before trading bombs in the finishing stretch. Think of a 13 minute G1 match structure, but replace all of the repetitive guard rail spots with goofiness and crowd work. This one featured Ribiero going for his Caribbean People’s Elbow (named by me, because I don’t know what any of these guys call their moves), only for Mendel to hear the music start (see my previous review for an explanation of why that’s a thing http://www.voicesofwrestling.com/2016/11/08/pwa-fright-night-2016-october-22-results-review/) and bail to the floor. The bomb sequence ended with Ribiero’s standard finishing combination of a Rock Bottom and the Caribbean People’s Elbow.

Winner and STILL Champion: Fabien Ribiero via Caribbean People’s Elbow. ***1/2

Millenial Rebels (Colten Kelly, Reid Matthews & Fury) vs. Frenetico, Aidan Adams & Gisele Shaw

This is a direct follow-up to the Fright Night tag team match between the Rebs, Adams, and Shaw as well as the singles match between Fury and Frenetico. Speaking of which, what happened to Frenetico’s title shot? He won one for beating Fury. Did that happen in Calgary?

Actually, I’m going to take a minute to bitch about that. PWA seems to believe that most of their audience is willing to drive the 3 hours between Edmonton and Calgary to see all of their shows, so they run one single storyline continuity through all of their shows. In practical terms, this means that the majority of the audience is only seeing 50% of the story developments AT MOST. Booking angles that will culminate on a show in a different city only works if your content distribution allows your fans to follow along even if they aren’t live in the arena. PWA has pretty much no content distribution aside from a DVD table at shows, so there are a whole lot of people wondering “did they pay that off already? What happened to that? Oh, that’s still a thing?”

I loved what I saw of the Rebs on the last show, but this match didn’t click at all. Their offence felt sloppy, and everyone meandered through a paint-by-numbers tag. Frenetico took the heat, and after eating shit on a suicide dive (he somehow got caught on the ring TWICE on the way down), looked pretty sluggish. Gisele Shaw looked great when she got the hot tag, busting out a clutch kick and a flip-dive off the top rope to the floor.

As an aside, if the crowd gets quiet, I frequently yell “DO A FLIP!” because it amuses me. In this case, it happened to coincide with Gisele standing on the top rope, so I choose to believe that I made a vital contribution to that spot.

Aidan Adams was tagged in at some point, and accidentally knocked Gisele off the apron. The referee went to check on Gisele as Kelly rolled up Adams. This was awful, as I’m pretty sure the referee was legitimately distracted by Gisele falling to the floor and forgot that she was supposed to be counting a pin (by the way, this is the female ref that blew a bunch of spots on Fright Night). Why? Because Adams was pinned for about a 9 count, then got up and reacted like he was shocked that he lost. What, did he manage to get in a nap and forget what he was doing? Oh, and he’d also taken virtually no damage throughout the match, so taking this pin made him look like a chump.

Winners: Millenial Rebels via narcolepsy, I guess. **

PWA Mayhem Championship Seasons Beatings Match – Kenny Stryker (c) vs. “Hollywood” Dusty Adonis

Kenny Stryker put out an open challenge to defend the Mayhem title, claiming that it was his gift to the fans. That capped a cringey promo about loving Christmas. How cringey? He managed to get Christmas booed.

The challenge was accepted by “Hollywood” Dusty Adonis, a PWA regular from years past whose most memorable run to me was an impersonator gimmick, where he’d come out as a different WWE wrestler each show.

This match was pretty much entirely Christmas-themed comedy. Both guys would open Christmas presents in search of weapons, but they mostly found things you’re more likely to find in someone’s box of Christmas decorations. Mistletoe was introduced early, leading to Stryker walking around ringside trying to get people in the first row to kiss him. It actually worked, which got a pop. He tried to kiss a woman in the row in front of me, but Dusty mugged him, took the mistletoe, and kissed her. Obvious plant is obvious. Dusty found a fruitcake and smashed it into Stryker’s chest with an Earthcake. No, that wasn’t a typo. Dusty ended up wearing a light-up Rudolph nose for several minutes. Stryker found a Santa hat, which led to a “sitting on Santa’s knee” spot with an open folding chair.

The finish saw Dusty find a bald cap, wrestling headgear, and a fake gold medal – in case you were wondering, those are the ingredients needed to call on the power of Kurt Angle. Dusty lowered the straps on his singlet, then hit a bunch of Kurt Angle moves culminating in the Olympic Slam for a near fall. Dusty Angle then pulled his straps back up so he could lower them again and apply the ankle lock, but Stryker kicked him into a chair wedged in the corner and rolled him up.

Winner and STILL Champion: Stryker via roll-up. **1/2

Intermission time! The downside of having 500 plus people at a PWA show is that the concession and bathroom lines got pretty absurd.

PWA Canadian Tag Team Championship Match – Moore Prime (Shawn Moore & Alexander Prime) vs. Team Hall of Fame (Duke Durango and Chris Steele) (c)

This is a direct rematch from last show, which had a garbage finish involving Durango hitting Moore with a tag title belt in plain view of the referee, who nearly gave herself whiplash trying to go back in time to find a reason not to see it.

This match was far better than the Fright Night encounter, with far less stalling and more energy in the work. Moore Prime are pretty ideal guys to go on after intermission, because they’re fantastically charismatic. I get hyped up immediately when these guys come out.

This match was kind of generically good, so I’m going to take this space to talk about a bizarre match structure thing I noticed in the majority of PWA tags – they’re almost entirely heat segment. There isn’t any real back and forth to start with, there’s an opening sequence that leads directly to the heat. Once the hot tag happens, they go to the finish quickly, leaving the hot-tag-recipient to work a very small percentage of the match. It’s a Southern tag without the parts that make you invest in the babyfaces by making them look good.

In a nice touch, the heat segment and the hot tag were triggered by the same move – Durango low-bridging Prime, then Prime returning the favour. In the scramble that led to the finish, Moore did a flipping clothesline, Steele and Durango hit a stalling suplex/cross-body combo, and Moore did the Eddie Guerrero “he did it” spot with the tag title belt. That was actually really dumb, because if it had worked, the challengers wouldn’t have gotten the belts. They DID get the belts, though, after hitting Total Elimination on Durango. They got a massive pop for their efforts.

Winners and NEW Champions: Moore Prime via Total Elimination. ***

PWA Championship Match – Marky (c) vs. Brett Morgan

Frenetico won a Beat the Clock challenge at Fright Night to get a title shot. Did that happen? No idea. Brett Morgan is probably an upgrade as far as opponents for Marky, though. He’s a decent-sized dude with a good physique and good arrogant heel mannerisms. Marky has a goofy name, but is the second best worker in the company behind Michael Richard Blais.

This was good, but Morgan needs to either practice his striking or stop doing it. I could have parked my car in the space between Morgan’s knee and Marky’s head during one exchange. Morgan’s power offence was much better, and the match improved when he started sticking to that.

The finish to this match was very reminiscent of the Shabazz/Gabriel finish. Morgan ducked a flying forearm from Marky, which caught the ref. Morgan followed up with a fireman’s carry into a spinebuster thing, which I guess is his finish. The referee hauled himself over to make a count, then… was too hurt, despite being able to move halfway across the ring? Morgan then grabbed the title belt and wound up to hit Marky, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. He didn’t want to win that way. Morgan did a very good job selling his internal struggle with facial expressions, even if a lot of the crowd were confused as to why he was suddenly having a change of heart. Some stuff happened, Marky tried for his top rope leg drop, missed, then took another fireman’s carry spinebuster and that was the end of that. Brett Morgan wins with the same sequence that the ref couldn’t count the pin on earlier.

This match was mostly good, but Morgan’s… face turn?… seemed to come out of nowhere. He and Marky shook hands, then Morgan celebrated with the belt.

Winner and NEW Champion: Brett Morgan via fireman’s carry spinebuster. ***

Global Force Wrestling Nex-Gen Championship Match – Cody Rhodes (c) vs. Michael Richard Blais

Let’s start with the GFW Nex-Gen title. I get that GFW is a better known promotion, despite being a weird quasi-existing thing that is primarily a vehicle for some sort of gold scam. I get it. But the positioning here is saying “GFW’s title is more important than ours.” That’s not great. Obviously you want the big name outsider who drew the house to be in the main event, but this match sees a guy who just lost clean to the PWA Champion challenging for a title that’s being positioned as more important. There’s some problems here with both booking logic and the image of the promotion.

Okay, let’s allow fun into our lives now. The crowd came unglued when Cody Rhodes came out, and he pretty much had full control over their reactions at all times. The thing I found fascinating about this is that, for as much crap Rhodes takes for being a pure WWE guy, there is a very obvious difference in quality between a guy who’s been in WWE and the average indie roster. I think we’ve become spoiled by the accessibility of high-end indie wrestling, because we can choose to only watch the highest quality stuff from around the world. That’s the environment in which a WWE guy can come off as lesser-than – when the best wrestlers in the world have freedom to perform their art without restraint. I’ve liked the indie stuff I’ve seen from Rhodes, but that was against the aforementioned best indie guys in the world, where he was the lesser light in the match, looking to prove that he can keep up. Here, in the rec centre of a seniors complex in Canada, on a card with a lot of guys none of you will ever see, the pure WWE guy was temporarily Stone Cold Steve Austin in 1998.

The match started with the Stardust cartwheel and pose, followed by “there, but that’s the ONLY one.” The crowd exploded. Goldust’s drop-down throat-thrust. Minds are blown. An eventual step-up plancha to the floor? I’m surprised nobody’s head exploded. Like, physically blew up and splattered all over the walls. Rhodes could have taken a nap and the audience would have been rabid for it.

The level of crispness displayed by Cody Rhodes in comparison to the rest of the roster was almost shocking. It’s very jarring seeing Michael Richard Blais, easily the best guy on the PWA roster, be the second smoothest worker in a match. The match itself was quite good. Rhodes went for a second plancha, then ate a counter kick, which let Blais show off his offence, which is essentially one of those “100 Greatest Moves of X” comp videos. Highlights in this instance were Adam Cole’s Last Shot, a brainbuster, and a 450 splash.

Things got silly with the referees again, as Blais brought a chair into the ring in full view of the referee. Frustrated that he couldn’t put Rhodes away, he blasted him with the chair a couple of times. The referee cringed and walked around the ring, pretending to see nothing. I should bring up that the referee is Blais’ real-life girlfriend (wife, maybe?). I don’t think that’s ever been acknowledged in kayfabe (I asked around). Despite the chair shots, Rhodes managed to come back and hit Cross Rhodes. The referee counted two… then flipped off Rhodes, refusing to count her partner down. Some chaos ensued as the head referee was sent out to replace and eject the offending official. In the chaos, Blais accidentally kicked Rhodes low, causing him to scream at his girlfriend to leave so he could get the referee’s attention. Rhodes kicked out of a close near-fall, and the following exchange ended with a Cross Rhodes and three count.

Winner: Cody Rhodes via Cross Rhodes. ****

I liked the match a lot, but I don’t think I’ve ever been as excited about anything as the crowd sounded when the referee’s hand hit the mat for the third time. Thunderous applause, “thank you Cody” chants, screaming. Being in the midst of five hundred and some people screaming their heads off is such a great feeling. Pro wrestling is really fun, guys.

Cody Rhodes cut a promo saying that he loves wrestling and wants to come back to PWA, but everything was downhill after the opening line of “Did those two know each other?” He then circled the ring side area shaking hands and hugging people as the ring announcer talked and nobody listened.

Spot of the Night: This show was much lighter on bonkers spots than Fright Night. Gisele Shaw’s flip dive onto the Millenial Rebels was pretty cool, though. “DO A FLIP!”

Match of the Night: Cody Rhodes vs. Michael Richard Blais. It wasn’t really close.

MVP: Cody Rhodes. He drew the crowd, they LOVED him, and he put in a good performance between the ropes.

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PWA Fright Night 2016

by Jeff on October 23, 2016 at 6:57 am
Posted In: Blog

Through good fortune and happenstance, I fell ass-backwards into tickets to see a show I otherwise wouldn’t have attended, but which featured the best match I’ve ever seen live. Let’s get to it!

PWA Fright Night 2016
Northgate Lions Centre
Edmonton, AB
Estimated Attendance: 150-200

Fright Night is PWA’s annual Halloween show, and has the most unique atmosphere of their cards. Great care is put into the PWA Graveyard, which is an ever-expanding set for the Halloween show, and decorating the rest of the venue. This year the graveyard was set up on the stage of the Lions Centre, which meant many of the wrestlers entered through it. It reminded me of the late ’90s, when the WWF would build a new set for each pay-per-view, and was definitely my favourite implementation of the graveyard so far.

Our ring announcer, who is dressed in the blue Mike Tyson Mysteries jumpsuit, explains that our first match is the first of two Beat The Clock Challenge matches. Whoever beats the clock will challenge PWA Champion Marky (yes, his name is stupid, but he’s totally great, so roll with it) at the November show, Christmas Slam (also featuring Cody Rhodes). He left out the whole “PWA Title match” part in this initial explanation, but I’m here to make sure you’re not as confused as I was.

Beat The Clock Challenge Match 1: Gabriel Lestat vs. Richie Rage

Gabriel Lestat does a vampire gimmick, which, combined with his ominous theme music, made for a great entrance through the graveyard. Richie Rage then entered with a half-hearted “yeah!” and really set the tone for the opener. I’ve seen both of these guys wrestle a bunch, and usually they’re good. Lestat has some good power moves that suit his methodical pace, and Richie is short and strong with some flyer tendencies. Except for tonight, where Richie seemed totally lost and lethargic. There was no story, they just sort of did stuff, some of which was cool, and then Lestat pinned Rage. What did he beat him with? I can’t remember. That’s as good an encapsulation of this match as any description I can provide.

Winner: Lestat via pinfall at 11:01. *3/4

Gisele Shaw came out to cut a promo, the gist of which was that being a female wrestler in Alberta sucks because there are few opponents, and anyone who gets decent moves out East or to BC to work better opposition. She challenged anyone, man or woman, to come fight, which brought out the Millenial Rebels. The Millenial Rebels are Colten Kelly (the friend I attended this show with is responsible for naming him prior to his 2013 debut match), the Fury (not present for this segment), and a guy whose name I don’t know. They’re all guys in their very early 20s doing a trailer park scumbag gimmick that’s pretty well-developed. Kelly and his partner, who I’m going to call “Thickness” because that’s what it says on the ass of his tights, accept Gisele’s challenge with a simple “sure, we’ll hit a woman.”

Cheers.

Goddammit, wrestling.

They both attempt to attack Gisele, but before they can get a hold of her, Aiden Adams sprints to the ring and the Rebs bail to the floor to avoid him. He used to be the Bosnian Adonis Zarif Metrovic, which I think was a way better name. Anyway, it’s a Teddy Long Special tag team match.

Gisele Shaw & Aiden Adams vs. The Millenial Rebels

The Rebs are a really fun team. They’re grimy heels who cheat constantly, bump big, and yap at the fans like a drunk trying to start a bar fight. Adams is a Lance Storm trainee, so he’s a solid technician, and he’s got good babyface fire. He and Gisele lay into the Rebs, with Gisele doing some really cool lucha arm drags off the ropes. The Rebs cheat to take over, then cheat some more, then follow that up with cheating. Adams gets the hot tag, runs wild, then things break down. Kelly slams Adams into the ring post while Gisele (who has not tagged in) and Thickness (who has) are in the ring. Gisele goes for a top rope splash, but Thickness gets the knees up and cradles her for the pin.

I liked this match, but the finish made the ref look like an idiot.

Winner: Millenial Rebels via ref fuck-up. Also pinfall. **1/2

PWA Commonwealth Championship Match: Fabian Ribiero (c) vs. Jay Taylor

I think the Commonwealth Title replaced the Cruiserweight Title? I’ve never seen it before, but it seems like PWA has finally decided to go with a fairly standard secondary singles title instead of something that constitutes its own division. This was my first time seeing Jay Taylor, who is Australian and, I assume, a Storm trainee, as has been the case with every Australian in PWA. Taylor is whatever the opposite of a butterface is, and does an ironic “sexy” heel character. Fabian Ribiero’s character is what the Shining Stars WISH they were. He’s got more charisma than a good chunk of the roster combined, and has a very distinct dance-walk thing he does with his hips that carries over into most of his other in-ring movements.

This was almost entirely schtick, and endlessly entertaining. The match was built around Taylor getting a wedgie and never fixing it, then taking every opportunity to show his ass to the crowd. They escalated things as they approached the finishing stretch, hitting some bombs on each other, which culminated in a Rock Bottom from Ribiero and his ultimate finisher… which I don’t know the name of. Caribbean music plays and Ribiero dance-walks to the ropes, rebounds, stomps his opponent, dance-walks, rebounds, pulls a scarf from his boot and throws it in the air, People’s Elbow. I love it.

Winner: Ribiero via Rock Bottom and Caribbean People’s Elbow. ***

This is the point where we get the actual explanation of what the Beat The Clock Challenge’s purpose is. This is also where I’m going to take a moment to say that the ring announcer’s Mike Tyson Mysteries costume makes him look like a gym teacher who got fired for touching students inappropriately.

Beat The Clock Challenge Match 2: The Fury vs. Frenetico

Fury is part of the Millenial Rebels, but stands out as the singles guy in the stable. He’s got much shorter hair and his gear looks more polished, and has a slightly different demeanour. It’s the difference between the yappy drunk who starts a bar fight and his friend who he knows will finish it. I think he needs a new name that better fits in with his cohorts, though.

Frenetico is a masked wrestler whose energy level is the opposite of what his name suggests.

Fury had previously taken Frenetico’s mask and hair, so he and the Rebs were total dicks about that. Frenetico didn’t have any of the fire and urgency you would expect from a guy fighting an opponent he hates in a match he’s supposed to be trying to win quickly. He did a dive to the floor on the Rebs early, and spent over half of the match on offence. His moves were interesting and well-executed, but everything in between them looked gentle and lacked the energy that was required by the context. Cheating from the Rebs allowed Fury to take over, and he immediately started wrestling like a man who knew he needed to win this NOW. He would throw bombs, then fake injuries to distract the referee while the Rebs cheated on his behalf. Unfortunately, either the ref was turning too early or the Rebs’ timing was bad, as she caught them SEVERAL times. For a moment it looked like she was going to toss them, but then threw up her hands like “I can’t EVEN with you guys.” Frenetico won with a single-leg crab after Fury accidentally wiped out the Rebs. It was anti-climactic, because there was no leg work prior, and also… it’s a single-leg crab. What is this, a Young Lions match?

Winner: Frenetico via single-leg crab at less than 11:01. **3/4

Frenetico says that Fury may have taken his hair and his mask, but he just tapped out. Uh… okay. That doesn’t seem like a “this is even” situation, but all right.

PWA Mayhem Championship Casket Match: Sheik Akbar Shabazz (c) vs. Kenny Stryker

The PWA Mayhem Title is a fun, if kind of goofy, idea. It started as a hardcore title, then developed into a belt only defended in gimmick matches, hence this casket match. Also, I’m going to use the word “casket,” but what I really mean is “crate that appears to have been intended for large sound equipment.”

Sheik Akbar Shabazz is a big dude who is a good worker and has a lazy, kinda racist “I’m not from here, so boo me” foreigner gimmick. Wait, his hometown was announced as “Taliban, Ramadan?” WHOA. Holy fucking racism, wrestling!

Kenny Stryker is a create-a-wrestler. Good worker, but no personality to speak of.

What happened here was the kind of plunder-filled, big spot match that’s all right on video and SUPER FUN live. There was a fall into thumbtacks (!), a fall-away slam on a ladder (!!), and a fireball that knocked Stryker off the top rope and through a table on the floor (!!!). After the fireball, I looked over at my buddy and said “that was fucking awesome. I think I might be a terrible person.”

Stryker won after fucking up some sort of apron-head-scissors thing, giving up, and powerslamming Shabazz into the casket.

Winner and NEW Champion: Kenny Stryker via casketing. ***1/4

Intermission. There was a costume contest, because Halloween show. Despite having done this show for at least 6 years (probably far more than that), they still haven’t figured out how to make the costume contest not stretch the intermission too long.

PWA Canadian Tag Team Championship Match: Team Hall of Fame (c) vs. Alexander Prime & Shawn Moore

I have no idea why the tag titles are the only “Canadian” championship. The champs are Team Hall of Fame, PWA Hall of Famers Chris Steele and “Dirty” Duke Durango. Duke Durango is an old-school heel that I describe as a dad whose kids are ashamed of him. Chris Steele looks like Chris Benoit but taller and wearing shitty pleather pants that scream “2002 indie wrestler.” I haven’t seen Prime or Moore before, but they look athletic and were much better at working the crowd than a lot of the PWA babyfaces.

The match starts with Durango and Steele trying to win the Larry Zbyszko Award For Stalling, which they seem to have convinced themselves is a thing. It’s mostly interminable, although Durango had some funny lines. The match broke down like this: if Prime and Moore were on offence, it was exciting and the crowd were into it; if Duke and Steele were on offence, it was slow and nobody really cared. After Prime ate the ring post and was taken out of the equation, Chris Steele hit Shawn Moore with a tag title belt, Duke Durango suplexed him, and that was the end of that.

I should note that the belt shot happened with the referee looking RIGHT AT IT. No attempt was made to distract her AT ALL. She realized nobody had turned her, looked away awkwardly, then counted the pin as if nothing had happened. This was not a good night for this particular referee, as pretty much every finish she was involved in made her look like a dope.

Winners: Durango pinned Moore after a belt-shot from Steele into a backdrop hold. **1/4

Michael Richard Blais vs. “The PWA Original” Marky

Michael Richard Blais cut a promo on Cody Rhodes before the match started, as they’re going to face off next month at Christmas Slam. MRB is the guy that outsiders face, as he’s the best worker in PWA by a wide margin. The delivery of the promo was pretty good as long as he was focused, but he pretty clearly forgot what he wanted to say next a couple of times. Character-wise, he’s “God’s Gift to Wrestling.”

Marky, formerly Marky Mark, is “The PWA Original,” as he’s been in PWA since it started. His current incarnation takes the hip-hop influences of the Marky Mark character and combines them with a wily veteran persona.

I’m not going to describe this match a whole lot, because it would mostly be “OH SHIT AND THEN THEY DID (spot).” Suffice to say, it’s the best match I’ve ever seen live, and will probably end up in my top 10 matches at the end of the year. These two have wrestled many, many times over the past decade or so, which informed the story of the bout. Blais knows that Marky uses the fans’ support to gut his way through extraordinary amounts of damage. Therefore, clearly Blais needs to kill Marky as quickly as possible. So that’s what he tried to do. A hot opening sequence built to MRB hitting a Death Valley Driver on the apron… from the TOP ROPE. I believe my exact quote in reaction to that spot was “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?!?!?” After a count out tease designed to give time to reanimate Marky’s corpse, Blais took over but couldn’t find a move strong enough to overcome the PWA Original. Some Daniel Bryan chest kicks just pissed off Marky, and sparked his comeback. A bunch of attempted murders happened, and eventually Marky landed his top rope leg drop finisher after several failed attempts. It looks killer. I don’t know if describing a leg drop as looking mean makes any sense, but it looked mean.

Winner: Marky via top rope leg drop. ****3/4

Spot of the Night: There were a bunch. The fireball/table spot in the casket match, and during the Marky/Blais match there was an Enziguiri resulting in a flip-bump to the floor, the apron DVD from the top rope, a Canadian Destroyer DDT, and a belly-to-belly suplex variation of Spanish Fly. So I’m making it a 5 way tie, because it’s my article and I’ll do what I want.
Match of the Night: Michael Richard Blais vs. “The PWA Original” Marky. This was a no-brainer.
MVP: A tie between MRB and Marky, because the main event needed both of those guys to reach the heights it did.

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WWE Live Edmonton

by Jeff on October 18, 2016 at 9:58 pm
Posted In: Blog

For the first time since 2011, I, along with several friends, attended a WWE show live. That show in 2011 was an episode of RAW, and featured a really good John Cena/CM Punk singles match, when that feud was hot and Alberto Del Rio was involved for some reason. The last time I attended a non-televised WWE event was in 1998, and the only memory I have of it is my friend’s dad being very confused as to why my friend bought a Stone Cold Steve Austin t-shirt when Austin wasn’t even on the card. I brought that up for a reason, we’ll revisit it later.

I’ve recently been reflecting a lot on where I fit in the wrestling fan community, as I drift somewhere between the internet-created divide of “casuals” and “hardcores.” I participate in Match of the Year polls and use star ratings as shorthand for matches I like, but I also can’t muster the energy to get worked up about WWE booking the way Twitter so often does. I recognize that they frequently do VERY stupid things as far as narrative writing and wrestling logic are concerned, but after a brief “huh, that was dumb,” I don’t give it much more thought. I love the serious, sporting nature of New Japan and All Japan, but I also think the Final Deletion is the apotheosis of the Attitude Era and have watched it more times than any other match this year. When I watch a wrestling show, I want two things: to see exciting athletic displays, and to be entertained in some way in between said displays. Whether that entertainment comes from compelling narratives climaxing in the squared circle or the New Day telling dumb jokes, I don’t much care.

I think that’s the point at which I diverge from a lot of the wrestling punditry that I read and listen to online: I don’t really project what I want wrestling to be on what I’m watching. I often refer to it as watching wrestling like a dummy. I like to think critically about what I’m watching, but I also like to keep a certain distance from it: it’s entertainment. I’m not willing to invest emotionally to the point where creative decisions upset me. There are enough people writing about entertainment on the internet like it’s life and death. I just want to have some fun and, ideally, make things that let other people have some fun.

Those principles are influencing me looking at this show a little differently than usual. It’s a WWE house show, so the results don’t really matter, anyway. I want to tell the story of an entertainment experience, part of which will involve things like star ratings.

WWE Live Edmonton
Rexall PlaceEdmonton, AB
Attendance: 8 or 9 thousand, maybe? Not close to a sellout, but more than the house show average.

The show started with the Canadian national anthem and some rah-rah stuff from Jojo and Byron Saxton to warm up the crowd, then the Women’s Championship match started. I missed all of this while ensuring my girlfriend’s digital ticket would work (I have an intense dislike for Ticketmaster, to make a boring story short).

Women’s Championship: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

This was one of the matches that I expected would be on the show and was excited to see in person. Everyone in my party was excited for it, really, and Sasha’s reaction was thunderous.

You know how people always talk about how Sasha Banks can’t possibly have any career longevity if she keeps killing herself in every match? Yeah, I think she’s realized that, too. This was two wrestlers getting huge entrance reactions and then coasting off of the cache they’ve built with the audience. They did some schtick centred around the Flair strut, some rest holds, Sasha hit the draping double knees and the Bank Statement, and that was that.

On the one hand, I’m philosophically on board with wrestlers not killing themselves on house shows. On the other hand, if I spend my money to see a wrestler perform, I don’t want to feel like they gave a blatantly lesser effort than they would have in other circumstances. My appreciation for effort is going to be a recurring theme.

Winner: Sasha Banks via the Bank Statement. **1/2

Braun Strowman vs. Sin Cara

I had so much fun watching this match. Part of that was related to my friend’s incredulity at just how fucking massive Braun Strowman is, as well as an extended conversation about Braun gaining his size and strength from eating his enemies (and children). Unlike their RAW encounters, this match got about 6 minutes, and was a lot of fun. Braun’s pretty energetic for a guy his size, and while he’s not a superworker, he and Sin Cara seemed to have decided to have the best match they could. The story was Sin Cara using the right strategy against Braun, but not having enough artillery in his arsenal to keep Strowman down for a three count. Braun won with the British Bulldog powerslam, which I guess is his for-reals finisher?

These guys worked really hard, and far oustripped my expectations of them.

Winner: Braun Strowman via Power Slam. **3/4

Enzo Amore & Big Cass vs. Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows

I’m not sure the whole “buzzkill” thing that Anderson and Gallows have going on was thought through all the way. They stop entertaining things from continuing, then proceed to be as bland as possible in the ring. Sure, it elicits boos, but in practical terms they’re making your show worse by being on it. I skipped Guns ‘n’ Gallows matches on NJPW shows, and they’re even duller in WWE. What I’m saying is that if you think they’re dry on TV, you should see them live.

Wait, no. You shouldn’t do that.

Enzo and Cass carried the entire thing with their charisma, and called the Club SAWFT after the match (they had been cut off prior to the bout).

Winners: Enzo & Cass via Bada Boom Shaka Laka. **1/2

R-Truth came out and a discussion was had about how dated his schtick is (one of our friends was seeing it for the first time). Jinder Mahal came out as his opponent, and the decision was made to go check out the merch stand. Given that it took about 10 minutes before we heard R-Truth’s music again, we ABSOLUTELY made the right decision.

Jinder Mahal is one of those cases where it’s made clear that WWE fans are very receptive to WWE telling them NOT to care about something. We’ll examine the opposite phenomena later with Roman Reigns.

I also want to comment here that Jinder Mahal began his career in Alberta, and has actually had some pretty solid matches on the Alberta indies. Unfortunately, WWE treating him as filler is more powerful than the fondness developed by having seen him before he made it to the big leagues.

Oh, also Neville showed up and beat him after R-Truth did.

Then Chris Jericho came out and cut a promo that must have been like 20 minutes.

Still in the merch line, at this point.

Cesaro comes out.

Close to the front of the merch line.

Walking back to our seats, we made the discovery that everyone in our party bought a New Day item (I bought the Booty-O’s shirt, personally). Only one person bought any non-New Day things (Bayley snap bracelets and a toy title belt). I’m going to come back to this again later.

All right, I’m back in my seat now. The last ten minutes of Jericho/Cesaro (my estimate is they went 15-18 minutes) was pretty much what you’d expect from a Cesaro/Jericho RAW match. I’ve kind of lost interest in the Giant Swing, but then I saw it live, and OH MAN is it fun to watch. Live wrestling humanizes the performers by placing them in physical space in a way video can’t replicate, which highlights how bonkers a giant swing actually is. A human being swung another human being around in circles 10-15 times. There’s no way to see that live and NOT think it’s rad.

Winner: Cesaro via Sharpshooter. ***1/2

Intermission.

You know how people rip on Byron Saxton as being useless? I figured out what they keep him around for. He’s actually a really energetic live event host. He was more likeable in the 20 minutes or so he spent on the mic during this show than he’s ever been on WWE TV.

Bayley & Alicia Fox vs. Dana Brooke & Nia Jax

Somewhere around this point in the show I consciously realized that I had subconsciously been watching this show through a different lens after the disappointing opener. I wasn’t thinking about the matches I was seeing the way I would if I was watching them on TV. Watching video removes the atmosphere and immediacy of a match, and lets the watcher consider things like facial expressions and technical precision to a greater extent. Being in a room with 8 or 9 thousand people yelling, joking, cheering, and booing is a whole different experience. Not being able to hear anything the performers say, or see their expressions, is a different experience. As a result, the things that grabbed my attention most became effort. I don’t really care if I’m seeing matches I would go out of my way to see to round out a MOTY list. If the performers in the ring are working hard and giving me reasons to yell things and make dumb jokes to my friends, I was happy.

That was a long-winded way of saying that somebody watching this tag on RAW would probably call it two stars and never think about it again. As a live experience, I appreciated how hard everyone was working to have a fun match based around Nia Jax being a monster and Dana Brooke acting like it was her doing. And everyone loves Bayley, which helped.

Winners: Bayley & Alicia Fox via Bayley-to-Belly Suplex. **3/4

United States Championship: Roman Reigns vs. Rusev

The classic “heel shits on the locals for being inferior to get heat” promo is hysterical live. It doesn’t make it less funny when Lana delivers it wearing a black bustier underneath a hot pink plaid skirt/jacket combo. Despite that promo, Roman Reigns got the biggest reaction of the show. Unfortunately for him, it was boos.

If you had shown me the card of this event beforehand and asked me what I thought my favourite match to be, I wouldn’t have guessed it would be this one. In reality, this was the best thing on this card by an order of magnitude. Remember that really good RAW match these two had before SummerSlam? This was pretty much the same match, quality-wise, but with more “we’re not on TV and can fuck around a little” replacing the commercial break chinlocks. Rusev played along with the audience cheering him by encouraging them to chant “Rusev.” I think this was supposed to turn the crowd against him, but they just rolled with it and chanted “Rusev.”

What impressed me more than the quality of the match is that both guys worked their asses off. Roman Reigns really could have half-assed this one after getting booed heartily upon entering the ring, but the quality of the match managed to get the crowd to cheer when he pinned Rusev with a spear. Then they remembered he was Roman Reigns and booed again, but still. This was the opposite of the Sasha Banks/Charlotte match, in that guys fought through their reactions to have a great match.

Ultimately, this performance made me like Roman Reigns more, because he could have gotten away with less and nobody would have blamed him. Instead, he gave full effort and had one of the best live matches I’ve seen this year.

Winner: Roman Reigns via Spear. ****

Remember when I said we’d get back to talking about merch? So all four of us bought some New Day stuff. It was at this point in the show that we realized New Day weren’t going to be appearing, which was a total bummer. One of my friends was seeing their first live wrestling show ever, and the prospect of seeing the New Day (who were advertised, but, y’know, card subject to change and all that) was what sold her. So that sucked. It also instantly reminded me of my friend who bought an Austin shirt at a show Austin didn’t appear on, except that all four of us had done it simultaneously. Good job, us.

Anyway, main event time.

WWE Universal Championship: Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins vs. Sami Zayn

This was the only match on the card that I was aware of before the show, as it was hyped on the market-specific event centre segments on RAW. Kevin Owens was the most cheered wrestler on the entire show, and had gotten a few “we want Owens” chants during dull spots earlier in the night.

This was the stereotypical WWE triple threat match, where two guys wrestled and one guy sold like he was dying on the floor because he was kicked once. They utilized that formula for about 10 minutes, then all three were in the ring for most of the next 10 as they started the near fall stretch that built to the finish.

I feel like this match was the best example on the night of wrestlers not wanting to kill themselves on a house show, but also wanting to give fans who bought tickets a fun bout. They didn’t do anything crazy, but they kept the pace of the match fast and had some interesting spots. My favourite was Sami Zayn jumping off the top rope over Kevin Owens, only to get caught in the pedigree position by Rollins, who took a second to gloat and ate a superkick from Owens. Rollins hit Zayn with a pedigree, then Owens shoved him out of the ring and stole the pin to a huge ovation.

Then, some “Quality WWE Character Writing(tm)” kicked in and Seth Rollins offered a handshake to Sami Zayn, who was skeptical. They milked it for a while to get the audience to cheer for the handshake, after which Rollins pedigree’d Zayn. Even on a house show WWE can’t decide if Rollins is a face or a heel.

There were also a bunch of “this is awesome” chants throughout, most of which came off as incredibly forced. The finishing stretch warranted them (naturally, none of them happened during said stretch), but prior to that I don’t think it reached chant-worthy heights. It was a lot of fun to watch Sami Zayn or Seth Rollins pretend they were dying on the floor from a kick and imagine that the “this is awesome” chants were directed at them trying to get back into the ring, though.

Winner: Kevin Owens via stealing the pin after a Pedigree. ***3/4

Seeing WWE live provided an interesting notion about star power. Most of my live wrestling experiences are indie shows where the guys who are the most over are typically the ones who have the best matches. Given the televised, somewhat detached nature of WWE, most of the wrestlers’ reactions are already determined before they enter the building. As a result, the biggest reactions tended to coincide with wrestlers who didn’t give their all – they didn’t have to. They already had the crowd in the palm of their hand, all they needed to do was not stink up the joint. Performers who don’t have much going for them on TV, or who weren’t going to get the intended reactions, worked a lot harder between the ropes.

Now let’s hand out a bunch of superlatives for a show most of you didn’t see!

Spot of the Night: As impressive as the Giant Swing is live, I’m going to go with the jump off the top into a pedigree tease into a superkick spot from the triple threat match.

Match of the Night: Roman Reigns vs. Rusev. I could see someone giving it to the triple threat, but odds are it would be based on it having wrestlers they like better, not necessarily match quality.

MVP: Rusev and Lana. Rusev is so great, and everything he’s good at translates to a live show perfectly. Roman Reigns deserves credit, too.

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RCW Heatwave 2016 Show Review

by Jeff on July 10, 2016 at 1:09 am
Posted In: Blog

I went to an indie wrestling show for the first time in about a year, so I’m going to review it, as is my custom.

I haven’t been to an RCW (Real Canadian Wrestling) show in a year or two, so I have no idea what’s going on in terms of storylines. My entire reason for going to this show was the main event, which is a steel cage match for the RCW Canadian Championship. I hadn’t seen a steel cage match live before, and wanted to correct that. Despite the lack of familiarity with the angles, there are a lot of familiar faces on this card.

RCW Heatwave 2016
June 24th, 2016
Edmonton, AB
Kingsway Legion
Estimated Attendance: 110

Slammer vs. Kat Von Heez

The way Slammer’s wardrobe has been evolving, he’s going to be Lord Humongous in like two years. He cuts a promo about being owed a title shot and not getting it, because no champions have the balls to face him. Kat Von Heez (the Women’s Champion) comes out, which is the first instance I’ve seen of an entrance being the punchline to a joke in a promo. She says that she and Slammer have an equal amount of balls, and we have a match.

This was mostly a comedy match with Slammer being cocky about his “nuclear biceps” and Kat making him look like a goof for it. Slammer probably sold too big for Kat’s strikes, though, as her shots didn’t look particularly strong and he’s a pretty big dude. Kat got on a bit of a run of offence, then Slammer grabbed the Women’s Title belt and tried to hit her with it. The referee grabbed it and, as he was passing it off to an attendant on the floor, Slammer pulled a pair of brass knuckles out of his Li’l Petey Pump gladiator trunks and popped Kat in the chops and got a cheap fall after about 7 minutes.

This was a fun opener, but that’s about it.

Winner: Slammer via brass knuckle punch.

Slammer taunted Kat like a dickhead, and was run off by RCW Canadian Champion Bobby Sharp. He’ll be in the cage match later.

Tyrone Ironside vs. Mutato

Both of these guys are pretty good in a comedy setting, but the bulk of his match was pretty standard, outside of the finish and Ironside’s regular schtick of being childishly upset by things not going his way. If Ironside did nothing but comedy matches, he’d probably be my favourite guy on the roster. For the finish, Mutato accidentally hit the referee with Ironside’s feet during a spinning powerslam, which gave Ironside time to grab a chair. He did the Eddie Guerrero “stomp the mat and give the opponent the chair” spot, which the referee bit on and DQ’d Mutato.

Winner: Tyrone Ironside via Eddie Guerrero shenanigans.

Mutato left to contemplate becoming a real mutant potato (I assume his name is a portmanteau of those words, because it would be if I wrote a character named that). Tyrone Ironside congratulated himself on his cunning while alternating selling (if the referee was looking) and giving the one kid who was loudly cheering for him a shit-eating grin and double thumbs up. Cujo (whose name I didn’t learn until later) came out and attacked Ironside, splashing him a few times and then dragging him away. One of the splashes involved putting an Ironside 8×10 and Cujo’s chain onto Ironside’s chest, which… I guess hurts more? I have no idea why this happened.

Texas Hangman vs. Barricade

Oh man, Texas Hangman’s gimmick is GARBAGE. It’s black coveralls, a black noose, and a featureless black lucha mask that looks like it came from a sex shop. He was decent enough in the ring, although I can’t say the sample size was in his favour, as he got killed in two minutes by Barricade. The most interesting part of this match was supplied by the kids sitting behind me (including Ironside Fan), who kept demanding that Hangman take off his dumb mask and reveal his face. At one point they started a very loud two-person “reveal your face” chant.

I have no idea why this was on the card, other than to get a regular (Barricade) a payoff.

Winner: Barricade via Avalanche Splash followed by a Belly-to-Belly Suplex.

RCW Canadian Tag Team Championship Match – Redneck Renegades (c) vs. Dogs of War

Dogs of War (Steven Styles and Britton Baylis) entered first, accompanied by Cujo. Styles cut an almost entirely incomprehensible promo. The only parts I caught were that Baylis is his partner because somebody is suspended, and the introduction of a new manager whose name I didn’t catch. He cut a short promo that was also mostly incomprehensible, because he doesn’t know how to hold a microphone. OOF.

Redneck Renegades came out, and easily showed the most charisma so far in rallying the fans behind them. Rex Roberts is carrying beers and dancing, which will be important later. At this point, I’m intrigued to see what they’ve got in the ring, and things start off pretty promisingly. Baylis seems pretty green, but he managed to keep up with the Renegades for the first few minutes. Unfortunately his partner was Steven Styles, who is fucking terrible.

The Dogs of War got a heat segment on Rex Roberts which felt like it was going to last until the heat death of the universe, then Other Redneck Renegade, who was the best worker of the four, got a hot tag. Excitement picked up, then Rex Roberts accidentally tagged himself back in while Other Redneck was hitting the ropes. This led to the referee refusing to count an Other Redneck pin on Baylis off of a top rope missile dropkick, which spelled the end for the Renegades. Other Redneck was cleared to the floor, Styles and Baylis hit a Hart Attack/Mafia Kick combo on Roberts, and we have new Tag Champs.

Winners: Dogs of War via Hart Attack/Mafia Kick combo.

After the match, Other Redneck (I have no idea what his name is, which is a shame because he was easily the best guy in this match) was mad at Roberts for tagging himself back in. Roberts pleads his case, claiming it was an accident. It seemed like the two were going to reconcile, and a “hug it out” chant began. Other Redneck initiated a hug which turned into a Codebreaker. OH NO! He proceeded to cut a pretty good promo claiming that Roberts never really believed in Other Redneck, because he would always tag himself in when Other Redneck had things under control. Other Redneck claimed he had to carry Roberts, who was too busy drinking and having fun.

I don’t know if this was a well-told story leading into the match, but all of the logic in the promo was supported by what happened in the match, from entrance to final bell.

At this point, the heel turn and promo by a guy whose name I don’t know is the best thing on the show. Between the ropes, things have not been very good.

Leon Grayson w/ Thaddeus Archer vs. The Bosnian Adonis

If Leon Grayson was like 20 pounds heavier, he’d probably be one of the most intriguing prospects in Alberta indie wrestling. Dude is a toothpick with kickpads. Bosnian Adonis is, I think, a Lance Storm trainee. He’s got pretty good size and good look if he can add some definition.

I really enjoyed the story of this match. For the first five minutes they chain wrestled, with Bosnian Adonis proving to be more than Grayson can handle. Frustrated, Grayson bails to the floor, where he uses Thaddeus Archer as a distraction and then rams Adonis into the post. This establishes the narrative that continued throughout. Adonis was the better wrestler, but Grayson knew when to cheat to cut off Adonis’ advantages. As Grayson cheated, Adonis started selling frustration at not being able to maintain an advantage while being obviously better. Eventually the action spilled onto the floor, where Grayson missed a soccer kick from the apron. The two started brawling while the referee counted, but neither could get into the ring without the other cutting off the attempt.

This match had one major strength and one major weakness: the major strength was the quality of the matwork and striking exchanges. Excellent stuff. The weakness? I see a lot of complaints on Twitter about wrestlers not selling enough, but in my estimation this match had the opposite problem. Both men spent too much time in between spots selling damage, and it killed the pacing of the match toward the end.

Winner: Double Countout.

The two continued to brawl on the floor until they were broken up by other wrestlers. If they maintain the story of this match throughout the feud, this could turn into something really engaging. It was also a huge relief to finally get something on this card that hit 3 stars.

British Commonwealth Championship Match: Scott Justice (c) vs. Nite vs. Paul Destre w/ Thaddeus Archer

This was the first match where everyone involved looked like a wrestler. It was also very enjoyable. The match started with Nite and Justice knocking Destre out of the picture so they could do some mat work. Why I mention that at all is because every time Destre tried to get back into the match, Nite and Justice got rid of him WITHOUT STOPPING THE MATWORK. In one of the most creative three-way spots I’ve ever seen, Destre charged Justice, who was in an arm wringer. Nite cranked on the arm wringer, causing Justice to double over in pain. This was timed so that as Justice recovered from the pain and straightened up, he was back dropping Destre. Fucking awesome.

The mat work ended with some dives to the floor, then everyone started throwing bombs at each other. Destre was clearly the third guy here, as Nite and Justice got the bulk of the offence. Justice tried to go for an avalanche One Winged Angel on Nite, but wisely settled for a regular version when he realized that the way he was attempting to set up the avalanche version was a terrible idea. It involved putting Nite on his shoulders in a sitting position BEFORE climbing the ropes. Nope. Nuh uh. Bad move. Thaddeus Archer distracted the referee to prevent a pinfall.

More stuff happened, including a really great shoulder roll over Nite’s back by Justice which fed into a superkick (I think?) by Destre. The match ended with Justice catching Destre in a full nelson and Nite grabbing a waistlock on Justice – the resulting dragon suplex/German suplex combo scored several pinfalls, depending on how you want to count it. All three men’s shoulders were down, but since Destre wasn’t pinning anyone, Nite and Justice were declared co-winners. This sets up a singles match for next time.

Paul Destre wasn’t really featured in this match, but I hope he comes back. He had a dumb surfer gimmick, but seemed like a good worker.

Winners: Nite and Scott Justice via double pin.

At this point we had an intermission so that the cage could be set up. It was fun watching the cage be built, although it took much longer than I think the crew expected it to.

RCW Canadian Championship Steel Cage Match: “Lion Warrior” Bobby Sharp (c) vs. Big Jess Youngblood

I figured this one would be good coming in, as I’ve seen plenty of Big Jess and Bobby Sharp in the past, and they’re both excellent. What I got was a  4 1/2 star cage match.

This one was a pinfall/submission only match. No escapes. Y’know, how cage matches SHOULD be. Take two guys who hate each other and lock ’em in a cage until one of ’em is dead. That’s exactly how this match played out. Big Jess jumped Bobby Sharp during his entrance, leading to a wild brawl around ringside. Both men teased going into the cage a few times, then eventually ate some steel. The first big spot of the match happened before the bell rang – Big Jess charged Bobby Sharp at full tilt, but the cage door was still wide open. Sharp grabbed it and slammed it into Jess’ face with an impact that sounded like a gunshot. Jess was rolled into the ring, bleeding, and the bell rang.

The story of this match saw both men trying to figure out how to take down a juggernaut. Big Jess, physically a monster, and with brutal one-shot offence. Sharp, showing a lion’s courage, and willing to empty his entire arsenal. Jess’ offensive bursts were methodical and focused on hitting a small number of devastating moves. Sharp, by contrast, would hit the NBA Jam turbo button and try to throw as much offence at Jess as was possible before he got going too fast and ate a counter. Late in the match, neither man had found an answer for the other, but it looked like Jess had taken control. A superplex from the cage had gotten him the closest near fall yet, and Sharp seemed dead in the water as Jess climbed the ropes for a moonsault that would crown him champion. Unfortunately, Jess stopped on the top rope to remind the fans of Sharp’s mistake in climbing to the top of the cage, one Jess loudly proclaimed he wouldn’t repeat. By the time he was in mid-air, Sharp had rolled out of the way, and it seemed like the impact made the bottom of the ring touch the floor. Even after hitting the mat like a comet and receiving a top rope Lion Splash, Youngblood kicked out. In a superb bit of subtle acting, when Jess kicked out of the pin, Sharp looked sullen, then up at the top of the cage. He knew what he was going to have to do to win, even if he didn’t want to do it. He remembered last time. But he climbed up anyway.

Lion Splash from the top of the cage. Bobby Sharp retains the title.

Winner: Bobby Sharp via Lion Splash off of the cage.

Post-match, Bobby Sharp expressed his respect for Jess’ performance. Jess didn’t return that respect, instead spitting that he would win their next encounter. Sharp continued his promo as Jess left, telling a story about Edmonton’s importance to his career thus far. Win, lose, or draw, this would be his final match in Edmonton for a while, as he had an opportunity to make himself a force globally (see what he did there?).

Slammer interrupted, prompting a female fan in the front row to yell “don’t you ruin this for me, Slammer,” which cracked me up and ruined some of the gravity that Slammer was going for. Slammer attacked Sharp and held up the RCW Title, saying that Sharp was going to have one more match here, because Slammer was cashing in his title shot at the July 9th show.

If you want to watch the cage match, the guy sitting in front of me recorded a fan cam of it! It doesn’t translate quite as well as it did live, but if you want to hear an old lady demanding that Bobby Sharp “make him bleed!” is this video ever for you.

Spot of the Night: As much as I want to give it to my first live cage dive, it’s going to the arm-wringer/back drop thing from the triple threat match. I hope that pops up on YouTube.
Match of the Night: The cage match. It was everything I want out of a cage match, and I was about 10 feet from the cage. Awesome.
MVP: Bobby Sharp. An excellent performance and Ric Flair in the ’80s levels of blood.

 

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