Heat: The Space Age of Pro Wrestling

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Old School RAW

by Jeff on November 24, 2010 at 1:38 am
Posted In: Blog

WWE’s Old School RAW last week got me thinking a lot about what made the WWF seem so captivating when I was a kid, and what it is about the WWE nowadays that’s just… not quite hitting that same chord now. What’s different? I mean, aside from the entirely different roster and set and stuff. It took me a while, but I think I’ve finally figured it out.

The writers.

Back in the early ’90s, wrestling didn’t have writers. Relatedly, angles were more important than storylines. The two terms are used fairly interchangeably, but asĀ  Lance Storm wrote on his blog, they are not. The purpose of an angle was to take two wrestlers and set them on a path that led to a match (the intersection of the angle). The journey toward that match was focused entirely on making the audience want to see these two guys fight each other. It’s a similar principle to how the UFC promotes its fights. With the advent of the internet, anybody can get the results of matches seconds after they conclude, so promoters need to make the audience want to see the fight itself. The audience needs to want to see one guy beat the everloving crap out of the other guy.

How are storylines different? Well look at the WWE now. This past Sunday’s Survivor Series was headlined by Randy Orton defending the WWE Championship against Wade Barrett with John Cena as the guest referee. Going into that match, where was all the hype? On Cena. The referee. The focus wasn’t about whether dastardly heel Barrett could outsmart Orton and capture the title or whether Orton would prove that Barrett was all talk. It was about whether Cena would hand the belt to Barrett, in essence, or be fired. Watching RAW the next night not only gave me all the information I needed to continue following the story, it gave me a Barrett/Orton rematch. Cena’s farewell speech? Longer than the Barrett/Orton rematch.

What does this have to do with writers? You need writers to write storylines. You don’t need them to create an angle. In 1994 one of the strongest angles of the year was the family feud between Bret Hart and younger brother Owen Hart, which lasted the entire year. It was delightfully simple: younger brother Owen was jealous of always being in the shadow of older brother Bret’s success. No several-minute-long, pre-written promos. Really, not even any particularly top notch promos (the Harts, while fantastic workers, have never been particularly skilled on the mic). No kidnappings. No attempts to murder people with automobiles even though that makes no sense at all. Just two brothers who had a falling out and wanted to prove who was best.

At the Royal Rumble, Bret and Owen’s bid to win the WWF Tag Team titles were thwarted when the Quebecers injured Bret’s knee and pinned him before he was able to tag Owen. Owen made his heel turn at the end of the match, kicking Bret’s injured knee and blaming his selfishness for costing Owen a shot at WWF glory. Later that night, Bret limped into the Royal Rumble match and came out as co-winner with Lex Luger. His brother getting a WWF title match after denying Owen his chance at gold? Owen’s jealousy was triggered and set up what turned out to be a brilliantĀ  match between the brothers at WrestleMania, which Owen won. Later that night, Bret won the WWF title from Yokozuna, and the show ended with Owen Hart standing, dejected, in the aisle while his brother celebrated.

At the King of the Ring, Bret Hart retained his WWF Championship with help from brother-in-law Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart. Later in the night, the Anvil returned to help out a relative once again as Owen won the King of the Ring tournament, leading to speculation that the Anvil had helped Bret retain his title so that Owen could get a crack at it. Which was entirely true. As King of the Ring, Owen demanded a championship match. And he got it at SummerSlam in a steel cage. The two brothers would finally settle the score, and Bret came out victorious. But Owen would have the last laugh, nearly a year after the whole thing started. At the Survivor Series in 1994, Bret Hart defended his title against Bob Backlund in a submission match, during which Owen tricked his mother into throwing in the towel, costing Bret the WWF title.

Okay, that summary went on longer than I intended it to, but I do have a point here: could you imagine what would happen nowadays if WWE’s writers tried to craft a year-long storyline between two wrestlers? They would wrestle each other forty-some times, for one. There would be something in the neighbourhood of 100 hours of monologue. And unlike 1994, I would not be buying the pay-per-views.

└ Tags: Bret Hart, Owen Hart, RAW, WWE
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PWA Fright Night Review

by Jeff on October 24, 2010 at 8:21 pm
Posted In: Blog

On Friday, October 22nd the Century Casino in Edmonton, AB hosted the PWA’s annual Fright Night show. The first point of interest came up before the action even got started: the PWA graveyard. Usually the entryway for the wrestlers is a curtain hung over the locker room door. It lacks flash, but is otherwise perfectly functional. For this show, however, the smallest section of seats was removed to make way for a large graveyard entrance stage, featuring several headstones, a badass gargoyle thing, an opening casket, and mannequins of Leatherface, Freddy Krueger, and Michael Meyers. Very cool. There were also lasers and fog, but those weren’t evident until later.

CHUCKY BLAZE vs. KING DUSTY ADONIS

Last time I saw Dusty Adonis in action was at Hysteria, where he and Apoc set about hitting each other as hard as possible for about twelve minutes. Apparently between then and now he’s become a king. The king gimmick has always been a solid one throughout wrestling’s history, probably because it’s pretty simple: the king is better than you, and acts like it. Instant heel heat. Until some guys near the front, who would spend most of the night cheering on the heels, started a “long live the king” chant, which of course the impressionable youth of the audience got in on. Dusty played with this in a clever way, encouraging more fans to join in by pointing out the chanters and applauding their good taste. I like the idea that heels believe that they should get face reactions, and then get upset when they don’t (usually because they’re smarmy bastards that cheat like hell). Also, there’s a match, so let’s talk about it. Dusty and Chucky put on a very entertaining and competitive bout based on the classic “isolate a body part” tactic. Dusty works over Chucky’s arm, which Chucky sells well by avoiding unnecessary use of his left arm. Around the ten minute mark the king decides it’s time to end things and does what is essentially a more awkward version of Randy Orton’s “coiling viper” routine to signal an ace crusher. Chucky counters the ace crusher by shoving Dusty into the corner, then grabs him and hits Sliced Bread No. 2 from the opposite corner to score the fall in a very strong opener.

DYLAN KNIGHT vs. ANDREW HAWKS

Everyone’s favourite Newfie takes on everybody’s least-favourite Aussie in our second contest. Dylan Knight, fresh off of a dark match on Smackdown!, has some new tights which don’t make him look like he crapped his pants. I applaud this move. He also has a boomerang, which I hoped would get used during the match. It didn’t, but the match was a good one anyway. In a classic power versus speed match-up, Knight tried to keep Hawks grounded while Hawks tried to put Knight off-balance with kicks and high-flying offence. Knight punctuated his big moves with demands for crowd approval (I think the specific phrase was “How was that?”), which was a nice touch. In another interesting counter-move finish, Hawks sprung off the ropes in an attempt to hit Knight with a kick, but Knight caught him and spiked him into the mat with something between a classic Death Valley Driver and an Attitude Adjustment. Knight got the one-two-three in our last non-title match of the evening.

PWA CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
ALEX PLEXIS (c) vs. M

Alex Plexis comes out first wearing Kam-ikaze’s mask, but without his gold, which Kam-ikaze stole at Fall Fever. Plexis gets on the mic and cuts a pretty impressive promo about wrestling being a brotherhood, and what kind of man is Kam-ikaze to steal from one of his wrestling brothers? He then plays on the “Stand Up for the WWE” campaign and tries to convince the crowd to stand up for him by petitioning the government and writing their city councillors, which causes the crowd to laugh at him. He gets frustrated and M comes out, removing his entrance gear to reveal a PeeWee Herman Halloween costume. It was pretty spot-on, and got a big pop. Things start off with fast-paced technical wrestling, showing some pretty good chemistry between M and Plexis. After a while, M hooks in an arm bar while Plexis is in the ropes, causing the referee to call for a break, which causes M to run around screaming after announcing that “break” is the word of the day. About a third of the crowd finds this hilarious, the other two thirds are very confused. The ring announcer explains that you’re supposed to scream when the word of the day is said… and it’s never said again. What started as a funny idea really killed the pacing, but M and Plexis get back to work and things pick up again. Eventually there’s a ref bump, M gets sent out to the floor and the lights go out, at which point several Kam-ikaze’s run out and surround the ring. The lights go out again and only one Kam-ikaze is left, standing behind Plexis with the PWA Cruiserweight title belt. PWA boss Kurt Sorochan comes out; the match has been ruled a no-contest, but since it’s a Halloween show, it’s time for some trick or treat action. The treat? Well, it’s for the fans; the next Edmonton show will feature Plexis vs. Kam-ikaze, mask vs. cruiserweight championship. The trick? If Plexis doesn’t agree to it, he’s fired.

I feel like this match could have stolen the show without the pace-killing PeeWee Herman joke (which, to be fair, was pretty funny for the people who got it, but took too long when it needed to be explained) and a proper finish, with the Kam-ikaze stuff happening after Plexis got the W.

FATAL 4 WAY MAYHEM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
APOC (c) vs. “RAVENOUS” RANDY MEYERS vs. TEX GAINES vs. MATTIAS WILD

This one was originally going to be for the number one contendership for the PWA title, but Kurt Sorochan comes out and announces another treat: this one is going to be for Apoc’s Mayhem title instead. Apoc is not a happy camper. Tex Gaines (who, it turns out, I’ve seen at the comic shop but wasn’t aware he was a wrestler) and Mattias Wild are introduced as the two mystery men, and “Ravenous” Randy comes out to one of the most hilariously over-produced theme songs I’ve ever heard (a bit of the Two & a Half Men theme song, Steve Regal’s old Real Man’s Man theme, Salt ‘n’ Pepa’s “What A Man” and another song I recognized but don’t know the name of). Apoc cuts a promo that’s a bit weak, then the match starts with a huge brawl. After getting pinballed between the three challengers’ strikes, Apoc isolates Ravenous Randy beats the tar out of him on the floor, which I mostly ignored because Tex Gaines dragged Mattias Wild out into the section of the audience where I was sitting. Eventually things get into the ring, where the heels team up to keep the faces on the defensive in a series of stereo spots. The heels turn on each other when Tex tries to score a pinfall, but the faces still aren’t getting in much offence. The heels turning on each other is where I realize that it’s not an elimination match, though, so that was useful. Mattias Wild superkicks Tex, taking him out, then finds himself tossed out of the ring. Randy pulls a pinfall out of nowhere on Apoc, winning the Mayhem belt.

Afterward it’s intermission time. At the end of the intermission there’s a costume contest, split into categories for adults and kids. An 18 month old dressed as a spider wins the kids’ contest, to the surprise of nobody. Drunken Juggalos are booed, and some pretty nifty Hart Foundation costumes get a big pop. As a wrestling fan, I found the contest to be a bit too time-consuming, but I see it’s value to the family friendly branding of the PWA, so I can’t really complain about it.

PWA CANADIAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
SCOTLEY CRUE & BOBBY SHARP (c) vs. THE NIGHTMARES

This match has a special stipulation: if either Nightmare is pinned, they’re fired. Why? Not sure. The champs are accompanied by Mr. Kyoto, who’s wearing some kind of zombie mask, and Strife, who I’m not familiar with, but took a lot of abuse from the fans and even the ring announcer previously in the show. Why he’s out here, I’m not sure. I’m also not entirely sure why Bobby Sharp is wearing American flag workout pants, circa the Sandman in 1993. Scotley Crue points out that Sharp is now the All-American American American Canadian… or something to that effect that is confusing.

So anyway the match gets started and is a pretty good tag team contest that improves on the bout between the two teams at Fall Fever. Scotley Crue takes abuse from the crowd while the heels isolate one of the Nightmares. There’s a really fun false tag spot where the other Nightmare gets tagged in while the referee is distracted, then Scotley Crue makes a show of calling the referee’s attention to the heel teams completely legal tag following the Nightmare’s ejection to the apron. The Nightmares start to build some momentum, then Strife cracks a Nightmare (apparently #4) with the tag title belt, KOing him and helping Sharp and Crue retain the gold. The belt shout sounded terrific, although why Strife was there for it when the champs already had Mr. Kyoto in their corner, I don’t know. Nightmare #4 gets fired, resulting in goodbye applause from the audience and a “Nightmare Four” chant. Although I suspect we’ll be seeing a Nightmare #5 shortly.

PWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP CHAIN MATCH
CHRIS STEELE (c) vs. “T-BONE” JACK SLOAN

Chris Steele beat T-Bone in a street fight in Calgary to claim the ten pounds of gold, so the roles are reversed coming into this match. The belt is hung from the rafters above one of the turnbuckles, and the two men are attached by a chain. The match starts with some nice psychology as both guys tentatively measure each other, trying to gather up the chain so that the other guy can’t use it against them. Which of course is what happened. Pretty much the entire match was worked around the chain, which I liked. Too often, gimmick matches are just that – a gimmick. They’re a normal match that happens to have a prop that gets used a little bit. The way the chain was made integral to the entire psychology of the match put it on a higher level than most of the “two guys attached to each other” matches that I’ve seen. The first five minutes or so were mostly striking, with a few attempts to get the belt which were easily countered by yanking the chain. T-Bone wound up a decent length of chain around his fist and clocked Steele, busting him open. T-Bone was busted open in a similar spot later on. At one point, Steele’s chain accidentally broke off during a bump. He looked around then reattached it, which could have been made awesome if Steele had yelled something like “I’m not done with you yet!” before re-hooking himself. One of my favourite spots involved Chris Steele yanking the chain so that T-Bone punched himself in the crotch, then flowed smoothly into a pump-handle slam. After about fifteen minutes of battering each other, T-Bone climbed up top. The belt nearly in his grasp, he found his own arm rammed into his crotch twice by Steele yanking the chain. Steele scrambled up the ropes and dumped T-Bone with a back suplex, giving him enough time to secure his title belt.

Spot of the Night: There were a few pretty good ones, but I’m going to go with the finish to Dylan Knight vs. Andrew Hawks.

Match of the Night: Steele vs. T-Bone. This is an easy choice, as the psychology based on the chain was superb and elevated this match above the rest of the card. Which is just as well, since it was the main event.

Overall: A strong showing from the PWA with no big names to lean on.

└ Tags: Prairie Wrestling Alliance, PWA
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Reasons Why I Hate the Minnesota Wild

by Jeff on October 21, 2010 at 8:23 pm
Posted In: Blog

It’s not wrestling related, but I’m watching the Edmonton Oilers flail about madly while pretending to be putting up an NHL-calibre challenge to the bastard-faced jerks collectively known as the Minnesota Wild, and the shit I want to say is too long for Twitter, because I am a long-winded bastard. And now, a variety of reasons why I hate the Minnesota Wild.

– The Minnesota Wild seem convinced that these new-fangled things called “face offs” are important, and so hired a bunch of players that are good at winning them. The Oilers, by contrast, were apparently told that face off percentages ranked like golf scores, with low numbers being the best. Reality is a harsh mistress.

– The Wild goalie is not an aging Russian who has more alcohol than blood in his veins. That’s no fun at all!

– Their locker room does not double as a pre-school.

– While their team name refers to the Minnesota wilderness, a legion of disappointed fans pack the Xcel Energy Centre believing that they were attending an evening with the stars of Girls Gone Wild: Minneapolis.

– They display poor sportsmanship by scoring most of their goals when the other team has less players on the ice.

– Their best players are from Finland. You’re a hockey team, not the Finnish consulate. You’re making poor Norway jealous.

– They used to be coached by Jacques Lemaire. While he’s no longer with the team, the carcinogenic levels of boredom that Lemaire-style hockey induces can never be cured, only put into remission.

– Because of the aforementioned Mr. Lemaire, Minnesota is anything but Wild. A more accurate moniker might be the Minnesota Trappers.

– Edmonton’s sports media will invariably use the results of tonight’s game to insinuate that fans should panic because Taylor Hall is not named Wayne Gretzky and the year isn’t 1985.

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PWA Fall Fever Show Review

by Jeff on September 27, 2010 at 9:35 pm
Posted In: Blog

On Saturday, September 25th I attended the Prairie Wrestling Alliance’s Fall Fever show at the Century Casino Showroom in Edmonton, Alberta. My buddy Dan and I sat in the second row, which becomes relevant to the story later on. Review time? Review time.

PWA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
THE NIGHTMARES (C) vs. BOBBY SHARP & SCOTLEY CRUE w/ Mr. Kyoto

This was a pretty solid show-starter. The Nightmares, consiting of Nightmare #2 and Nightmare #4, are huge fan favourites. While that’s somewhat counter-intuitive, considering that The Nightmares seems like a pretty typical heel name (and is, in fact, the name of a heel team in the manga series Ultimate Muscle), it’s also incredibly funny when you actually see the Nightmares in action. Clad in black body suits and masks with red lightning details, #2 and #4 may be the most delightfully goofy tag team I’ve seen in action in a long time. They don’t talk, and you can’t see their faces, so they express everything with broad body acting, their staple being an inexplicably entertaining wave. In something resembling John Cena’s “you can’t see me,” one of the Nightmares waved pleasantly at Sharp after body slamming him early in the bout. They also did great work keeping the crowd behind him, with the guy on the apron constantly reacting to what was going on in the ring and tryin to drum up support for his partner in the ring. The match itself was fairly standard tag team fare, with the heel team of Sharp and Crue keeping one of the Nightmares isolated from his partner and preventing him from tagging out at the last second to get some good heat from the crowd. Eventually Mr. Kyoto got involved by bringing the tag title belts into the ring, which resulted in him getting a smack in the chops from the legal Nightmare, who was subsequently KOed by a belt shot from Sharp. Scotley Crue kept the other Nightmare from breaking up the pinfall and the tag titles changed hands to a vigorous chorus of boos.

Bobby Sharp came out with water dripping from the bottom of his pecs, which made it look like he was lactating. Dan and I had a lot of fun with this. By the end of the match I was hollering at Sharp to use his breast milk to heal Mr. Kyoto (who was still selling the effects of the punch from the Nightmare).

After the match the referees came out to fix a lump in the mat. I think one of the boards came loose. On to the women’s match!

ILENA vs. DANYAH

I wanted to like this match, I really did. The WWE treats women’s wrestling as a beer break between matches that matter, and does anybody even watch TNA anymore? On those grounds, I want to support indie women’s wrestling. This match didn’t really do it any favours. Early on they botched an Irish whip spot, and things didn’t get all that much better after that. Ilena’s gimmick is essentially the same as Dylan Knight’s (more on him later); they make a bit deal about being Australian and the fans give them crap for it, since the bulk of the roster is from Alberta. Danyah’s hometown announcement (Toronto, Ontario) was quickly followed by “but now living right here in Alberta” to keep the babyface heat on her. This one was fairly bland, with nothing particularly notable until the finish. Unfortunately for the girls, the finish was notable because it sucked. Danyah hooked Ilena for her finisher, which was subsequently botched pretty badly. I’ve never seen Danyah before, so I don’t know what her move is supposed to be, but from the set-up it seems like something similar to CrossRhodes. When Danyah swung to execute the move, Ilena kind of just fell on her butt. Danyah got the pin from it anyway, mercifully ending the worst match of the night.

PWA MAYHEM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
APOCALYPSE (C) vs. ANDREW HAWKS

Last time Dan and I went to a PWA show, we couldn’t remember Apoc’s name, so we called him Cowboy Jesus. Which is exactly what he looked like. This time he was looking a lot less Jesus-y, and at some point acquired the Mayhem title belt. Neither Dan nor I could figure out exactly why the belt had the moniker it did, since the bout seemed to use the same rules as the rest of the matches, but either way Apoc forced the ring announcer to point out that his new nickname was “The Lord of Mayhem.” Er, right. Andrew Hawks’ gimmick is pretty simple; he’s from Newfoundland. To Canadians, this gimmick pretty much explains itself. To others, it probably requires more explaining than I want to do. The psychology of the match was relatively simple, but both men worked it well. Apoc, the bigger guy, wanted to keep high-flyer Hawks on the mat with grinding holds and thunderous strikes (Apoc is, hands down, the best striker in the PWA, as far as I’m concerned). Hawks, conversely, wanted to keep Apoc at bay with his speed, kicks, and aerial offence. Hawks landed a very impressive swinging hurricanrana off the second turnbuckle (the ceiling in the casino is fairly low, so most aerial moves come from the second rope), as well as a springboard spinning front kick (kind of like that one John Morrison does) that got a big pop. Apoc eventually retained the title when he caught Hawks’ springboard moonsault attempt and countered it into a cradle tombstone piledriver, which elicited gasps and a general tone of “holy crap that was awesome” from the audience.

“HOT SHOT” JOHNNY DEVINE vs. DYLAN KNIGHT

Johnny Devine appears on PWA shows fairly regularly, and is pretty over. Probably because it’s nice to see wrestlers that you’ve heard of. I’ve seen Devine wrestle live a few times in dark matches or “squash the local guy” bouts at WWE shows, but this is the first time I’ve seen him in person where the outcome of the bout wasn’t a foregone conclusion. Dylan Knight seems to be the opponent of choice for guys the crowd has heard of, a role which he’s done fairly well in, by my estimation. Last time I saw Knight in action, he had a pretty solid match with Samoa Joe. Unfortunately for Mr. Knight, he has both a lower back tattoo and his tights sport an awful rendering of the continent of Australia, which gave both Dan and myself ample ammunition for our rinside heckling endeavours. Dan gleefully shouted out “OH! It’s Ass-Stain!” when he saw Knight’s trunks, because that poor rendering of Australia? Well, it looks like he crapped himself and it discoloured his trunks. Also, Johnny Devine had the Cobra logo from GI Joe on his jacket. Why? No idea. But man did I pop for that.

The match itself was easily the best one so far. It was a back-and-forth affair that went nearly 20 minutes, and featured quite a few impressive spots. Early on, Devine knocked Knight out of the ring then teased a springboard moonsault to the floor. Knight scrambled out of the way, but Devine charged along the apron and crashed onto Knight with a flying cross body block. Eventually Knight took control and removed one of the turnbuckle pads. Nothing happened with the bare buckle for a while, and when Johnny Devine got whipped into it the look on Knight’s face led me to believe that he forgot the pad was gone, because Devine did a Shawn-Michaels-esque upside-down bump into the corner that looked pretty painful. After Knight had been in control for a few minutes, Devine staged his big comeback which culminated in the new best spot of the night. Knight whipped Devine into the corner. Devine jumped up onto the second rope, then hopped backwards and landed in a sitting position on Knight’s shoulders before flipping backwards into a hurricanrana. When Devine applied the Sharpshooter, everyone thought it was over and were chanting for Knight to tap, but he eventually got to the ropes to break it up. Near falls were exchanged, then Knight hit what I assume to be his finishing move, a modified fisherman suplex where he hooks the opponent’s left leg on the outside with his right arm. It looked pretty cool, but Knight landed heavily on his arm/shoulder and looked like he was in pretty serious pain as the referee helped him to the back.

This match was followed by an intermission, which lasted about 15 minutes.

PWA CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
ALEX PLEXIS (C) vs. M vs. CHUCKY BLAZE

Chucky Blaze and Kamikaze had an excellent match at Hysteria, so I was excited to see him in action again. Alex Plexis, who has abs you could cut diamonds with and wears an almost cartoonishly tiny t-shirt, captured both the Cruiserweight title and Kamikaze’s mask since I last saw him in action. He was pretty over as a heel and elicited a number of chants suggesting that he should eat a hot dog. I think this was a family-friendly variation of a “you suck dick” chant. Or implying that he needed to gain some weight, because if he stood behind the ring post the people on the other side of the ring probably wouldn’t be able to see him. Plexis spent most of the early match attempting to avoid engaging his opponents by sitting down in the front row. The first ten minutes were pretty fast-paced and an almost constant rotation of two-guys-in-one-guy-on-the-floor. Blaze landed a series of excellent kicks and knee strikes (while Apoc is the best striker overall striker in PWA, Blaze’s worked kicks are awe-inspiring) before eventually being eliminated by M with something resembling a Blockbuster. M flipped off the top turnbuckle and hooked Blaze’s neck, but instead of landing in a neckbreaker, Blaze was flipped backwards into a DDT. I was disappointed to see Blaze eliminated, but if he had to get pinned it might as well be from the best move of the night. Plexis retained his title shortly thereafter, rolling up M after he smashed his shoulder into the ring post. This probably would have been a four star match if M and Plexis had gone another 5-8 minutes at the same level of quality as the first ten minutes.

PWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH
“T-BONE” JACK SLOAN (C) vs. CHRIS STEELE

At Hysteria, T-Bone lost his Heavyweight belt to Booker T (yes, THAT Booker T. He was the PWA champ for a while) in a fairly lacklustre match. Chris Steele had an okay match with Brandon Van Danielson which was hampered by confusing rules. I didn’t have high expectations for this one, which turned out to be the best match of the night. The match started off in the ring, then quickly ended up on the floor. I was impressed with the brawling. Unlike the WWF in the late ’90s, when hardcore wrestling was an excuse to hit people with a series of increasingly strange objects, most of the brawling here had a clear purpose, and slowly ramped up in intensity as each man tried to find a way to keep his opponent down. Early on they brawled into the audience where a section of chairs was wiped out and T-Bone tried to choke out Steele with an office chair (most of the seating was comprised of VERY comfortable office-style chairs lined up like a normal arena). Later, T-Bone countered a suplex attempt by Steele into a front suplex onto two folding chairs, one of which was mangled. The highlight of the match, as far as I’m concerned, was a spot which saw Steele move the guard rail separating the section I was sitting in from the rinside area. We all hustled out of the way at his behest, after which he hurled T-Bone like a bowling ball through the chairs in our section, flattening the first five or six rows before ending up sprawled over several chairs that were left standing. The crowd went berserk.

The match-up ended at around the 20 minute mark. T-Bone had brought out a chain from underneath the ring (which, on further inspection, was actually attached to the ring post) and whipped Steele with it. Steele started to come back, resulting in a KO punch with the chain wrapped around his fist. The count was broken up at 2 when a masked man ran out from the back and clobbered the referee. Just as Steele was about to clean his clock with a chain punch, a second referee tried to get control of the situation, getting a chain punch for his troubles. At this point owner Kurt Sorochan and booker Lance Storm (yes, THAT Lance Storm) came out with a handful of wrestlers to break things up. Kurt cut a great promo, saying that if T-Bone and Steele wanted to act like animals, he would treat them like animals, but he didn’t want to put his referees in danger. He announced that at October’s Fright Night show the two would be chained together with the title belt suspended above the ring. The logistics of how exactly those rules work is unclear to me, but I don’t care because, based on this match, it should be fantastic.

Match of the Night: T-Bone vs. Chris Steele
This was a two-horse race between T-Bone/Steele and Devine/Knight, with T-Bone and Steele edging out Devine and Knight with superior storytelling and a finish that single-handedly moved tickets for the next show.

Overall Impression:
Top-to-bottom, Fall Fever was weaker than the other PWA show I’ve seen, Hysteria. That’s not really a fair comparison, though, as Hysteria is considered by many to be one of, if not the, best show the PWA has ever put on. In-and-of itself, Fall Fever was a solid show that ended with a strong hook for the next show.

└ Tags: Prairie Wrestling Alliance, PWA
  Comment

Wrestlicious: TakeDown

by Jeff on September 8, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Posted In: Blog

I have no idea how widespread this show is, but I recently watched it on The Fight Network, and… this is one weird-ass show. For those who might be unaware, Wrestlicious is an all-women wrestling federation and TakeDown is their weekly TV show. On the one hand, I applaud that it’s so different from the other wrestling shows on TV. On the other hand… different isn’t necessarily good.

It seems to be filmed in a studio, kind of like TNA, although it reminds me a lot more of the NWA shows from the ’80s in that TV studio that I can’t remember the name of. The ring apron seems pretty short (about half the height of the WWE’s ring apron), but other than that it seems like a fairly standard WCW-style cable-roped ring. The obvious difference is that the ropes and the connectors between the turnbuckles and the ring post are bright pink. When the camera zooms in it becomes obvious that there are pink sheathes on those elements, which seems like it could make balancing on the ropes more hazardous than it needs to be. I’ve only seen two episodes, so that might completely false, but just by looking it at the sheathes seem like they could slide, since they aren’t very snug on the ropes.

The in-ring aspects of the show are fairly standard. Since the show is only a half-hour long, it’s hard to complain about the length of the matches, which are pretty short. One of the episodes I saw had a battle royale, which kind of sucked, since the ring entrances for the 20 ladies lasted about as long as the match did and a lot of the eliminations looked more like the girls threw themselves out of the ring and their opponents just happened to be there making a throwing motion. The other matches are better. They’re not Shimmer quality, but they’re decent. The aspect that stands out the most in terms of the wrestling is that all of the wrestlers have very clear gimmicks. There’s a witch doctor, a convict, an American patriot, a cowgirl, naughty schoolgirls, and Lacey Von Erich. Whose gimmick is that she’s Lacey Von Erich. This seems to influence the match-ups quite a bit (like a singles match between a pop star and a female rapper).

The television production aspects of the show are where it starts to get really strange. The show opens with, of all people, Jimmy Hart. And a girl whose name I forgot that has a Jersey girl gimmick. The rest of the promo segments are pre-taped skits. The ’50s gal did a segment with some doo wop girls in a diner, the rapper was inexplicably on a game show with Greg “The Hammer” Valentine where the questions were about hip hop. There was a segment featuring comic panels drawn by James Hornsby of Botched Spot, which was pretty cool to see, although I’m not entirely sure why they wouldn’t just film a real promo where the same thing happened. The segments are very different than a typical WWE or TNA segment, but a lot of them didn’t really work any better than they would have as typical promos, but probably cost more to produce.

Followers of my Twitter and readers of my NXT recaps are probably well aware that I hate Michael Cole with the burning rage of a thousand suns. Well the Wrestlicious commentator is nearly as bad. He doesn’t bury the talent or act like a complete asshole, but man is his commentary bad. It’s CLEARLY being read off of a pre-written script made up entirely of jokes that make Jerry “The King” Lawler look like the second coming of George Carlin. There’s no way anyone could make up that many shitty jokes on the spot. It’s just physically impossible.

Wrestlicious: TakeDown is something that needs to be seen to be believed. Is it the best show out there? Sweet zombie Jesus no. Is it even a good show? Kinda. Is it a show? Yes. Yes it is. And really, what the hell else is on at 1:30 AM?

└ Tags: TakeDown, The Fight Network, Wrestlicious
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