With the Super Max Challenge Cup looming, it’s time to check in on Prison Pro Wrestling’s top 10 rankings. The qualifying round’s opening contest recently took place on Prison Asteroid 32J, with 32J and 17E both earning a point as Dick the Bastard and Ron “The Con” Gould took Los Gordinflones Negros, the PPW Tag Team Champions, to a time limit draw. But you’re here for the rankings, so let’s get to it.
10. The Wooly Bully
The native of The Shear Peaks has taken quite a tumble in the rankings after a pair of losses to newcomer Dick the Bastard. Previously thought to be a sure bet to challenge for Johnny Law’s Asteroid Belt in the near future, the Bully is going to need to live up to his name if he’s going to get back into the title hunt.
9. “Pretty Boy” Paul Meyers
The self-proclaimed “Pretty Boy” has built up quite a bit of momentum for himself heading into the Super Max Challenge. While his current winning streak is rather modest by wrestling win-streak standards, he’s shown a lot of improvement inside the ring and could be a dark horse pick to excel in the Super Max Challenge qualifying round.
8. Dick the Bastard
While still a rookie in PPW, back-to-back wins over the hairy juggernaut known as the Wooly Bully grabbed a lot of attention. Momentum kept going with a draw against the Tag Team Champions, and rumours are flying that he’s on the short list of call-ups to fill out the 30 participants in Galactic Wrestling’s upcoming Gauntlet battle royal.
7. Ron “The Con” Gould
Despite a recent string of losses with partner Tim Van Patten, Ron Gould’s record and recent partnership with Dick the Bastard (and subsequent near-win over the Tag Team Champions) left our panel of experts comfortable placing him in the number 7 slot. Gould’s tag team wrestling experience should be a valuable asset in the Super Max Challenge.
6. Jack Allen
Jack Allen has been on fire since being traded to Prison Asteroid 32J (who, quite frankly, won the shit out of that trade) for Billy Duggan. Allen’s Tiger Suplex has become one of the most effective finishers in PPW, as not a single wrestler has been able to kick out of it. Teaming with Invincinator hasn’t hurt his record, either.
5. Los Gordinflones Negros
Uno and Dos, Los Gordinflones Negros, have compiled an excellent record on their journey to the PPW Tag Team titles, and have yet to lose a match since winning the belts. The only factor preventing them from ranking higher is their lack of exposure in singles competition. Neither member of LGN has wrestled more than a handful of matches solo.
4. Invincinator
Invincinator is an oddity on this list, as he’s the only one who isn’t actually in prison. The prison league is a step up from the competition on his home planet, though, and he’s making the best of his new surroundings by compiling an impressive record since his arrival in PPW. Some insiders have suggested that he’s a top contender to make Prison Asteroid 32J’s Super Max Challenge Cup team if they’re able to qualify.
3. El Gangster II
The younger brother of PPW legend – and current HEAT star, after a lengthy stay in Lucha Libre del Muerte – El Gangster. El Gangster II is likely in line for a championship match within the next year or so, although most experts are of the opinion that he’ll be signed by another promotion before that happens. Unsurprisingly, rumours have Lucha Libre del Muerte showing interest.
2. Vinny LaGrazo
As miserable a bastard as we’ve ever seen step through the ropes, Vinny LaGrazo has recently been announced as the number one contender for the PPW Asteroid Belt, although it is unlikely that a match will be arranged for several months due to the Super Max Challenge. Vinny’s climb up the ranks has left a slough of beaten opponents in his wake, most of them bent into shapes not unlike pretzels.
1. Johnny Law
The copper would be PPW’s most hated wrestler even if he wasn’t wearing the Asteroid Belt around his waist. Even the toughest opponents seem to wilt when they step into the squared circle with Johnny Law, and it doesn’t seem like anybody else will be claiming PPW’s top singles prize anytime soon.
